A Capital's Game
by Mocking Verse
Summary: Final book to my Dangerous Game series! I strongly recomend you read the first two for this one to make sense. Summary: Friend, Ally, Victor, Husband. All the words i know about Finnick Odair, but I only focus on one, the one they convinced me he is. Mutt
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to the beginning of the end! I'm happy to announce this is the first chapter to the trilogy I've been writing: A Capital's Game! So please read and review! Enjoy!**

_Two figures sit side by side leaning against the wall. Both bodies are beaten and abused to the point of pure cruelty. The man leans over towards the girl and whispers in her ear, she comes out of the ball she was in to reveal the small month old baby in her arms. The baby is a beautiful boy, completely resembling his true father, Finnick Odair. With a sigh the beaten girl hands the baby to the man, who is only slightly older than she is. The man raises weakly to his feet, the baby in his arms, and crosses to the other side of the cell. Then the two begin to play the game that the man had devised for her. _

"_Finnick" he says simply and gently, no harshness in his raspy voice at all. Just the name makes the girl tremble violently; her breathing pace rapidly picks up its pace and her heart matches it. She digs her fingers into her legs, trying to calm herself down. She knows the rules to this simple game: the man will keep saying the name until she doesn't react, then she gets her baby back. She has greatly improved in this game during the past month, at first she tried to kill the man when he spoke the name. Ten minutes later, her trembling slows. _

"_Again" she murmurs, all she wants is her son. _

"_Finnick" the man repeats. Shaking overtakes the young teenager's body again for the second time. Five minutes pass and she relaxes a bit. "Finnick" she trembles more, driving her fingers into her already battered skin, causing cuts and her legs start to bleed. She doesn't even care; this little pain is nothing to what the Capital guards do to her during questioning. This, this sharp pain she's causing herself, she welcomes it, not because it hurts, but because it doesn't feel like it will kill her. This pain is nothing for someone who has survived the Hunger Games, twice. _

Rachel's POV:

"Finnick" Skitt repeats the mutt's name again to me, I can't that I start to tremble in fear, in anger, in agony at the name. But it's not as much, only a little. I look up at Skitt, the battered, bruised, and bloody man who is now my best friend, my ally, my prison partner. He grins at me and walks over, putting Kevser, my month old baby, back in my arms. Kevser smiles up at me, his blue eyes twinkling, when he sees my face. My bruised, cut up, battered face. But he knows it's his mother, and that's all that matters to him. "You did better this time." Skitt smiles as he sits next to me on the cold cement floor. I stiffen.

"I don't understand why we have to do it."

"Because I told you Fi-, _he, _isn't bad." Skitt stops himself from saying the name, he knows I'll launch at him if he did since he's so close by. We've been playing his little game for a month now, ever since our interview with Caesar when I said Peeta Mellark was the father of my child. Because that mostly makes sense; Kevser's bronze hair could be a combination of my dark hair and Peeta's light, the baby's eyes are the same color as Peeta's, and his broad shoulders and jawline are the same Peeta had. Only one thing doesn't fit, Peeta's dead. He's been dead for two years, ever since that rabid mutt killed him. That _mutt _killed everyone I love, he hurt me, he used me, he made me go into the Games twice. My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the door opening. A peacekeeper walks in and I stiffen, Skitt's arm goes around me, between the peacekeepers and me and Kevser.

"Come on, time to go." A peacekeeper uncoils a wipe for us to see.

"You're not taking them." Skitt snarls at the man, but lets out a cry as the wipe comes and slashes him across the face.

"Not your choice, get up now!" the man demands, I stand with Kevser in my arms. They don't hurt Kevser, as long as I say everything they ask, as long as I comply, they don't hurt him. While I'm being punished they feed him and take care of him. I give Skitt a glance and he looks up at me with pleading eyes while his hand covers the now bloody half of his face.

"I'll be fine Skitt" I lie; we both know I'll be coming back with more bruises, more cuts, more pain. But he nods as I walk out with the peacekeepers. My baby is taken from me and I'm forced to continue walking with the peacekeepers until we reach a small room, my torture chamber as I like to call it. I enter and take my usual seat, moments later a large, strong man walks in. He gets right to the point.

"We detected hovercraft leaving Thirteen and coming this way, what are they doing?" he asks, of course, I don't know. I never know, they never believe that I don't know either. So I do what I always do, I lie.

"Going to Two" I've become a great liar.

"Why?" he demands at me again. I don't even have to think about it.

"Weaponry." I say simply, apparently this is the wrong answer. I'm slapped across the face and I topple to the ground.

"There's nothing they don't have already in Two, they captured Two last week!" The man yells enraged. "You just never learn you little prick do ya? You always lie to us! Well, Snow gave us orders to show you a little tape, so just come on." I try to get up slowly, but I'm kicking in the gut and sent sprawling to the floor again. I try and get up again and the man takes my arm and heaves me up quickly and shoves me in the chair. A screen appears and it turns on. What I see makes my blood pulse. Mutt. I think instantly as I see the man on screen, only this time it's even more terrifying. This time I don't have that needle hidden somewhere to stab me, this time, what I'm seeing is one hundred percent real.

I watch in utter horror, in utter disgust, as I watch the bronze haired mutt throw a net over a young girl and impale her with his trident. I watch him kill not one, not two, not even three, but seven different kids this way. I watch him kill animals. I watch him hunt in the dark, take out kids who don't even stand the slightest chance. I watch him take away people's lives without batting an eye. Without caring.

"See, that's Finnick Odair." The man grins at me, at the name I begin the tremble violently and there's nothing to stop me from lashing out at the speaker. He catches my wrist and twists my whole arm; I let out a sharp cry of pain. "Stupid, stupid girl" he mutters before shoving me to the floor, my face smacks into the cement and I feel the blood run from my nose down my face.

;;;;:::::;;;;;

That night I sit with Skitt by my side with Kevser in my arms. He's already fed and asleep in my arms, I rest my head on Skitt's shoulder.

"If it weren't for him I'd rather be dead now." I murmur.

"Don't say that, things will get better, we'll get outta here."

"We'll die first." I retort.

"No, they won't let us die; they won't give us the pleasure of dying." I know he's right. They won't let us die, because life is worse than death, in death, there is no pain, in life, there's endless, searing pain. Soon I drift to sleep with Skitt's arms around me.

I wake up to hear urgent voices coming from far down the hallway past the door. They're different voices drawing closer, different isn't good here.

"Commander they should be past here, we need to hurry we're losing time!" I listen to a voice; I shake Skitt who's asleep by my side.

"What?" he asks irritated, sleep is when we get no pain, being roused from it sucks.

"Voices." I tell him, he rises what's left of his eyebrows and listens. We can hear the people debating on which door to take next to get to us. Then they burst into the room. I sulk back farther into the corner along with Skitt; even he doesn't trust these new people. A wait, barely breathing, and freeze when I see a young man stop in front of our cell. He raises his hand and presses a button, a light comes on and he scans it around our cell, he stops on Skitt and I. His eyes widen in horror as he sees how battered we are.

"Found them!" he yells to the rest of his crew and they rush over. They bust in the door and rush in, I instantly draw away and pull Kevser closer to my chest, he's awake now and staring, eyes wide, at the men who just broke in.

"Rachel, Skitt, we're getting you out, we're from Thirteen." I don't react to this, Skitt's eyes brighten and he jumps up. He puts his hands on my shoulders.

"This is it Rach, we can leave, get outta here, not be beaten." And I trust him, slowly I stand up.

"We need to hurry, there's a hovercraft on the roof." Another man instructs. We race through the hallways, which are dark and surprisingly empty. Skitt seems to have found his old energy and easily keeps up with the soldiers, but I stagger, but the soldiers stay in a formation around me. My world in spinning and hazy by the time we eventually reach the roof. A hovercraft materializes from thin air and we're rushed inside. Once inside I sit beside Skitt and hand him Kevser, just in time for me to slouch over and black out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for all the reviews! They all made me laugh I never though y'all be that excited for the next book! Anyways I've decided that I'm going to alternate with chapters between this book and my other one. Also, I won't be able to update much this week, maybe not until like Sunday because my brother is home from college. Don't get me wrong, I love that he's home, but he's ALWAYS on the computer so I can only work on stories while I do homework. Anyways, I had trouble writing this at first since it's Finnicks POV and I couldn't really remember how I did it. Soooooo I took a little field trip to none other than….the beach! I took a walk by the shore and the waves and even wrote Finnick Odair in the sand in a few spots **

_I wouldn't be driving like hell, flying like crazy down the highway, calling everyone we know. ~She Wouldn't Be Gone, Blake Shelton_

Finnick's POV:

I sit alone on the grass; tying knots. Always tying knots in my rope, I tie until my fingers bleed. I swat at a humming in my ear, my hand connects with a hummingbird and I look up to watch it fall to the ground, dead. Whoops. Oh well, there's hundreds more in here.

"Finnick" I look up at my name to see Johanna Mason standing at the entrance to this fake field in Thirteen. She looks very official in her soldier outfit, she should be though, she's one of the top soldiers here. "They're back." My heart stops at her words. _They're back._ Rachel and Kevser are back.

"Alive?" I ask her cautiously. She nods.

"Kevser is fine, Rachel passed out on the way here, you should be there when she wakes, common. Skitt is fine too, he's asleep as well." She doesn't need to tell me twice as I jump up and run to catch up with her.

They've decided I can see Rachel, they said that she might have been forced into defiling me. That she may be fine. Soon I just leave Johanna behind because she's walking, so I sprint down the hallways, skidding around the corners. Soon I reach the hospital wing, I see soldiers on stretchers being rolled out. I find Boggs, President Coin's right hand man, "Where is she?" I ask him hurriedly.

"Right through those doors Odair, your son has been taken to another back room." He informs me, I nod and go through the doors and freeze. Anger courses through my veins as I see her battered and abused body. She's been beaten and abused and starved. I walk over to her side, she's still sleeping. I take her hand gently in mine.

;;;;::::;;;;;

Rachel's POV:

I feel someone take my hand softly, Skitt, is my immediate thought. But as I keep my eyes closed and focus on it, I realize it's not Skitt. I open my eyes slowly and my scream catches in my throat. MUTT, MUTT, MUTT, MUTT. My mind screams over and over in my head. I need to kill him, I need to get him away. I stay calm though, thankfully I'm too scared to even shake. I make a plan in my head as my eyes lock in on his throat. Slowly I lift my free hand and go and touch his temple, his eyes soften, then slowly and gently run my hand down the side of his face. Almost there. I slide my hand past his jaw. Now! I lock my hand around his throat and put him in a choke hold. His eyes widen as I squeeze harder and begin to twist my hand.

Then I'm impaled in the head with a chair. I let go of the mutt to clutch my head, he staggers backwards. Someone jumps on me and holds me down as I try and get up to finish the job I had started. "It's a mutt!" I scream my voice cracking in a hundred different places, the mutt's eyes widen at me. "It's a fucking mutation they created!" I continue.

"No!" he yells, his voice makes me start to shake uncontrollably as they press a button and restraints go over my limbs and waist. I struggle against them.

"It killed my friends! It killed my family! It murdered Peeta!" I scream, my broken voice bounces off the walls.

"Shut her up!" a man yells.

"It used me!" I continue.

"Shut her up god dammit!" the man yells again, then I feel something stuck into me and my world goes black.

;;;;::::;;;;

Finnick's POV:

I'm still in shock as I'm dragged into a different room for the damage to my throat to be assessed. Once in the room I see Haymitch, I can tell there's something in his arms but I don't get to find out yet because now a nurse is in front of me.

"Look up" she instructs me, I do. "Well, you're lucky she's that weak because she sure knew what she was doing" I don't respond, because I'm the one who taught her how to do a choke hold when she was thirteen. After a while the lady nods, "Okay, you're good to go, it will be a little sore, but other than that, full recovery" She leaves me and again I notice Haymitch. He looks up at me.

"He looks like you Finnick" he tells me, I walk over to see what he's talking about. I actually smile a little when I see the baby in his arms. Haymitch holds him out to me, "Here you go dad, I need to go see her." He motions to the other side of a glass window, where you can see Rachel just waking up again. The drug must've been just so I could get outta there. It's one way glass, I notice, I couldn't see in this room before. I nod as I take the baby, my son. Haymitch gives us a grin before he goes out the way I came in. I go and sit down and watch Rachel, I hold Kevser closer to me. His eyes open and lock on my face, I smile at him.

"Hi" I croon. My voice makes Kevser reach up with tiny hand towards my face. He puts it on the side of my face, "Hope you don't know how to do a choke hold." Kevser smiles. I go and take his hand in mine, it wraps around my finger. "She's a wonderful girl really, your mother. I guess you've never seen that though. She's beautiful, funny, witty." Kevser seems transfixed on my words. I look up as I notice Haymitch in the room with Rachel. She starts to shake again, her eyes widen in fear.

"Rachel" Haymitch calls to her softly, her eyes dilate for a split second, like she realized something, then they widen again. "Rach" Haymitch tries again he steps closer to her.

"NO!" she yells at him. "You're with him too! You helped him! You're his friend!" She accuses him, he steps back. Well, she didn't call me an it.

"He's not-"

"Yes he is! He only kills! I saw what he did in his Games! He didn't hesitate, he didn't think! He's a mutt! He killed everything I had!" She is choking out the words now, her throat tight. My Games? When did she ever watch my Games? They must've shown it to her, after they convinced her I wasn't even a person.

"Just calm down" Haymitch takes another step closer. Her eyes widen again and Boggs goes in and pulls Haymitch back.

"Where's Kevser? Where's Skitt?" She asks. I look down again at the boy in my arms; at least they didn't hurt him. But now that she's safe, it bothers me that she's asking for Skitt.

"Skitt's asleep, he's fine." Boggs tells her.

"Where's my baby?" she cries.

"Right behind the door, you want him?" she nods, I stand and carry Kevser over to the door, so when Boggs opens it I hand Kevser right to him after I kiss my son on the head. "It's worse than we thought." He whispers to me.

"Can you fix her?" I ask hesitantly. Bogg's purses his lips together.

"The doctors are optimistic. But one thing they're positive of. She'll never be the same again." His words make me feel like I was just dropped into an icy sea with no way out, but I do dare to ask my next question.

"Will she ever love me again?" Boggs looks down, averting my gaze.

"Probably not; I'm sorry Finnick." With that he turns and brings Kevser to Rachel. As I stand in the room, feeling just an empty space where my heart should be. Bogg's words echo over and over in my head. _Probably not, probably not, probably not. _Then I know one thing, I need to get out of here, out of this underground city. I need the fresh air; I need to make a difference. I turn on my heel and make my way to Command, to ask if I can go and be stationed in District Four.

**Sorry it's so short But please review!**

**Also, you could guys do me a favor and watch this vid I made? It's HG so I think you'll like it:**

.com/watch?v=l-DMe00w4W4&contex (this is here so it lets me post the link, don't put this in URL)** t=C4044137ADvjVQa1PpcFMxpB8eg7y-DoCgtndBk9uqYz8OW0wd73w=**

**Mocking Verse**


	3. Chapter 3: Real?

**I'm so happy! I got my horse to do four flying changes today! FUCKING FOUR! For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about it's a dressage movement that horses do. I finally got him to start to do them for me :D Hope you enjoy the chapter!**

They've never drove through Indiana! ~Fly Over States, Jason Aldean (MY NEW FAVORITE SONG BTW!)

Finnick's POV:

It was late, but I didn't really care. I walked right into Command anyways completely ignoring the guards who told me not too and one even pointed it at me. He was no longer fit to even hold a pansy, let alone a gun. Coin looked up surprised as I burst through the door.

"Send me to Four" I demanded right away getting to the point. She furrowed her eyebrows at me.

"Why Soldier Odair? Should I do that?"

"Because I can't handle it, I can't see her like this, it kills me more. I know she's safe, that's all that matters. I know she'll never really love me again, or at least there's a five percent chance or whatever she will. I need to do something, I can't sit around and watch her scream and call me a mutt all day long. I've gone to most of my training things, I can go right away." I tell Coin bluntly. She leans back in her chair and studies me over.

"What about Kevser?" I feel my plan stumble at that. I don't want to leave him; I don't want to miss him growing up.

"I can come back, every two weeks or so to see him. Or every week if you'll allow that."

"Okay, once a week. And you're not doing anything major there, just with a little squad to take care of small Capital loyalists still got it?" she tells me, slowly I nod. "You come back once a week to see your son too."

"Thank you." With that I get up and leave, not bothering to be excused. Instead of going to my compartment I go to the watch room. I open the door quietly and walk in; I sit down and see Rachel lying on the bed, awake, with Kevser in her arms. I stare at her and remember the little girl I met only eight years ago. I put my head in my hands, there has to be some hope. Just one little good memory of me, there has to be. They couldn't take all of them. Some of them were just us, no cameras. I look up with panicked eyes as I hear Kevser start to cry. Rachel brings him closer to her for a second before she pulls her knees up and rests the crying boy on her legs, she smiles at him. He doesn't stop crying though. I stare at them helplessly; she smiles down at him again though.

"_Heartbeats fast  
>Colors and promises<br>How to be brave  
>How can I love when I'm afraid to fall<br>But watching you stand alone  
>All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow<br>One step closer_

_I have died everyday waiting for you  
>Darling don't be afraid I have loved you<br>For a thousand years  
>I love you for a thousand more" <em>My heart feels like it's stopped when I hear her. I just stare, wide eyed at her. They haven't taken that away from her. I hold back tears as the memory of when I first heard her sing this song flood my brain. That was when I fell in love with her, like, real love. She stills knows the song, does she know the memory?

"_Time stands still  
>Beauty in all she is<br>I will be brave  
>I will not let anything take away<br>What's standing in front of me  
>Every breath<br>Every hour has come to this  
>One step closer<em>

_I have died everyday waiting for you  
>Darling don't be afraid I have loved you<br>For a thousand years  
>I love you for a thousand more<em>

_And all along I believed I would find you  
>Time has brought your heart to me<br>I have loved you for a thousand years  
>I love you for a thousand more<em>

_One step closer" _ I look at Kevser, who is now back by her side, his eyes wide and sparkling as he looks up at her. Slowly they are getting heavier, as are mine.

"_One step closer_

_I have died everyday waiting for you  
>Darling don't be afraid I have loved you<br>For a thousand years  
>I love you for a thousand more<em>

_And all along I believed I would find you  
>Time has brought your heart to me<br>I have loved you for a thousand years  
>I love you for a thousand more" <em>I rest my head on the one way glass, I don't know when I really got up and put my hands on the glass, but I did. I can barely hear her next words. "It's confusing Kev, it killed everyone I had, stole everything from me. But there's something there. Doubt I guess, that maybe," I'm wide eyed as she tells our son these things. She shakes her head. "No, impossible."

And that is exactly why I can't stay, because I'll get my hopes up way to high, just for them to come crashing back down. But I'll always love her, of course I will, no matter how much she hates me.

-time skip-

Rachel's POV:

"Now you tell me if you recognize any of these people okay?" a nurse asks me. I've been in Thirteen for a month now; she's been my primary caretaker. I'm still in the hospital, along with Kevser, because I'm not fit to go out yet. I like it here though mostly, Kevser only gets taken away from me for more than two hours once a week; during that time I take a special bath they give me. I love it actually, despite the strange white wisps of air that rise up from the water.

Kevser is two months old now, not talking yet. He just makes cute little noises as he tries to figure it out; he's tried crawling without much success too.

"Okay" I nod to the nurse now when she asks me again. I can see the stack of about eleven pictures she has. I'm strapped to the table now, usually now I'm not and I can walk around my room, but if I 'snap' they don't want me to hurt the nurse. She holds up the first picture, Delly Cartwright. I begin to shake, she was friends with Peeta too, _it _killed Peeta. The nurse, whose name is Marge, quickly puts it away. She quickly goes through five more pictures: Chaff, Seier, Katniss, Annie, and Johanna. For each my mind immediately finds a connection to the mutt and sets me off. She holds up the next one, Katniss. My mind goes back to the day were she yelled at me for just staying with it. I shake again and try to get the picture, but alas, my arms are covered with steel bands. Marge puts up two more; Cashmere, which sets me off, and then Quill, who obviously sets me off too.

"Okay, only three more." Marge sighs.

"What's this for!" I snap through gritted teeth, pissed at all the people I've been shown.

"Finding a friend for you." She smiles sweetly at me and I nod. "Show me" I demand, she holds up the next picture and I relax. I barely recognize him in the grey uniform he's wearing, but his face is the same, despite his hair is cut. It's Gale. He has no connection with it to me, he was just friendly to me, never hurt me.

"Gale" I say simply, Marge smiles and nods.

"Yes, do you want to talk to him?" she asks. I feel myself bite my bottom lip as I think it over. I haven't seen Gale in a long time. He never hurt me, was always a friend.

"Sure" I say simply, this brings a wide smile onto Marge's face as she nods quickly.

"Good, I'll be right back." With that she hurriedly leaves the room. Oh, I didn't realize she meant right away. I guess that's okay. I disappointed when my restraints don't come off though, they actually aren't as comfortable as you may think. Steel bands that don't move and cut dig into you if you try and get out of them.

Minutes later the door opens again I don't need to turn my head, just look up. Gale stands in the doorway, by himself, no nurse or anyone. He eyes me carefully before taking a few steps closer. "Hey Rachel" he greets me calmly, glancing occasionally to a blank wall. I gave him a skeptical look in return, what's so interesting about a blank wall?

"Hey Gale" I say cautiously, his secluded mood rubbing off on me, making me wary of him. I heard another voice from the thing in Gale's ear.

"So, what's up?" Gale grins at me, suddenly happier. It isn't that hard for me to figure out the voice told him to sound happier. I roll my eyes.

"Oh nothing, just being strapped down to a bed about six hours of the day and not being able to leave this room only to go to the bathroom. It's really peachy." My voice is harsh, not joking what-so-ever. Gale swallows and comes a bit closer.

"It's really not that bad. They, they said they might let you go upstairs and eat with everyone else in a few weeks."

"That's great, is that going to happen before they trust me to feed myself solid foods with regular silverware or after?" I don't know why but he just is making me angrier. Gale laughs and I raise an eyebrow at him.

"After of course dumbass." I feel my eyes glaze over as I start to shake again. Dumbass, I've called someone that before. I've called it that before. When I first met him, when I thought I could trust him. Before he destroyed my life. "Rach?" I hear Gale's voice call out to me. My eyes focus on him now, he's closer.

"Don't trust him Gale, never trust him." My voice is just a harsh whisper.

"Who?" his question brings the voices from his ear frantically screaming at him for something. I sit up as best I can on the bed.

"Finnick! He acts like your friend! He gets you to trust him! Then he uses it to destroy you! To ruin your whole life!" I'm yelling now. Gale puts his hands up in defeat in front of him and slowly starts to back towards the door.

"He's not bad Rach." He stops walking, I hear voices in his ear, louder than before.

"Yes he is! He's a mutt! A freakin' mutt!"

"No," Gale growls as he yanks the piece out of his ear and stops on it, then he turns back to me. "No, he's not! He _loves _you! More than anyone else he loves you! You just can't see it!" Gale is yelling now too. I'm hyperventilating now myself.

"I can see it fine! I can see he killed them all!" I'm fuming now, but so is Gale.

"They _hijacked _you! You love him! He's the father to your son! He's your husband! See that ring on your finger there! That's from him! Don't lie to yourself!"

My eyes flash to the ring on my finger. Dolphins together; one silver, one gold. The memory that I've been pondering in my mind comes back to me now while Gale and I share the room in silence.

*flashback*

Finnick comes over and takes my face in his hands, he kisses me. Than pulls back and takes my hands in his and gazes into my eyes.

"I love you," he tells me

"I know that Finn, and I love you"

"I know, and if we were back in District Four, I'd meet you there. We would've become friends, and eventually I would begin to court you,"

What, what is he telling me? Why is he telling me this?

"I would always be with you, one day I would take your father out fishing, and then during the trip, while we are out on the water, I would ask him if I could marry you. But here, we're different, I met you here, loved you as a sister, which grew into something so much more. And you know your all I think about, and I don't care if Snow or anyone else says we can't or it isn't possible given we're from two different districts. But I want you to be mine; I want to be yours, until we die." Finnick digs in his pocket and pulls out a silver ring.

It's not a normal ring though; the whole thing is pure silver, except for one of the two dolphins. At the top of the ring there are the two dolphins, intertwined, their tails wrapping around each other, one is gold, the other silver like the rest of the sphere. It's beautiful.

"Will you marry me?" Finnick asks as he moves down to one knee. I purse my lips together as a huge grin comes over my face. I can't help but think of Peeta, but he would want this, he wants me to be happy.

"Yes, a trillion times yes." I tell Finnick before I go and wrap my arms around his neck again; he starts to kiss my neck. "Finn, let's go now, get married now, just in case." I want to be his wife as soon as I can. In case I don't make it out of the arena. He pulls back and slips the ring on my finger. Then he takes my hand in his and pulls me up to my feet.

*end flashback*

I still stare blankly down at the ring. So it was real? That memory is different from the others, not overly terrifying. It's simple, it's believable. My mind struggles with itself. Between what I believe this man to be a horrifying and utterly dangerous mutation; and deep down with that little shred of light that maybe, just maybe, it's all a big lie, a hoax. I look back at Gale.

"Just, just try and realize that." He fumes before he turns abruptly and storms out. I look back to the ring on my finger, doubt shadowing over me.

"I just can't afford to think like that right now." I whisper softly to myself.

**Sorry it's been so long! I had serious writers block on this one and I hate writers block! It's so annoying! But hopefully you liked the chapter; I think Gale reacted nicely, if I'm allowed to say that about something I wrote myself. And I've decided to read my own stories! I haven't really ever read them…just wrote them. I already read A Dangerous Game again and the whole time I was like oh I don't remember writing that and oh I should've done this instead. But alas, I can't really change that, well, I could, but I don't want too. Sigh, anyways I would greatly appreciate the use of the little yellow and blue button underneath these words and if you'd click it that would be fantastic!**


	4. Chapter 4: Breakfast

**Ya for updates! Hope you like this chapter! I'm sorry the story is going kinda fast for the beginning but I promise it will slow down!**

_Cause I'll be there, in the back of your mind, from the day we met. ~Best Days Of Your Life, Kellie Pickler._

Rachel's POV:

I look back over to Kevser sleeping in his crib by my bed. I look back over to Boggs, he's been taking care of me now too. Apparently I'm some big symbol on how the Capital can be taken over. Since I'm just doing so well with my recovery. They're letting me go upstairs to eat now, since I didn't try to rip apart a picture of the mutt they showed me the other day.

"Why can't I bring him?" I ask again. Boggs sighs.

"Because he's sleeping and you're handcuffs will be on so you can only carry your tray of food."

"Fine." I give in and put my hands out towards Boggs. He loosely puts handcuffs over my wrists, and then guides me through hallways towards an elevator. Another soldier trails us, watching my every move. Boggs leads me into the elevator and I stop next to him as he presses a button to go up about twenty floors. It's strange, I've never really been anywhere else in Thirteen.

"Remember, if you feel yourself slipping, look to me. Finnick won't be there, but Haymitch will be. And some of the other victors." I nod, he's only told me about a hundred times. But I do get nervous when the door opens. Boggs takes me over to the food line where I'm given a tray with my bland breakfast on it. Boggs stands back along with my other guard as I look for a table. Then I see them. Almost all of them; Haymitch, Seier, Chaff, Seeder, Johanna, Gale, Katniss, and Delly, all sitting at a table. I grin when I see Skitt with them, good, one trustworthy face there. "You have to ask them if you can sit there too you know." Boggs whispers in my ear. I nod again and slowly make my way over, holding my tray awkwardly. I stop behind Johanna and Haymitch, the others don't notice me right away, they just look down at their food.

"Ugh, hi" I greet all of them in a nervous voice. _They all know him, all of them are his friends._ My mind tells me, I shrug it off, they're good people. I think. My voice makes all of their heads to snap up in my direction, then they just stare. It's Skitt who comes to the rescue.

"Rachel! It's so good to see you….out and about." He smiles, I shrug.

"Yea, so I'm not trustworthy still I guess," I glance down at my handcuffs. "So, I have to ask, can I sit here?" I ask. They all glance at each other warily.

"Of course sweetheart." Haymitch smiles, I actually manage to smile back a bit. I walk over to the empty chair that's by Skitt and Seeder. Skitt pulls it out for me and I thank him as I sit down. I put my spoon in my oatmeal and lean over so I can get it in my mouth. I look up and study the table. These people aren't how I remember them. Haymitch should be drunk, as should Chaff. But they're not. I motion with my spoon towards them.

"I always thought you two were drunks," I say, then add softly, "I guess that's not real either." I shake my head, that memory seemed clearer. I jump when Chaff starts to laugh.

"We are, there's just no alcohol here." I nod and smile, I put my spoon down and rotate the ring on my finger.

"Real, that one's real." I say aloud to myself as I look at the ring. It's become a habit now, when I find out if something is real or fake, I twist the ring around my finger. Since it's like one step closer to knowing if the ring is true itself. I look up and everyone is staring at me like I'm crazy, I guess I am. "The memory, it's real, not made up, or fake. A lot of my memories are fake." I go back to my oatmeal.

"Like what?" Delly asks. I close my eyes as my body shudders, painfully memories flood my brain. One's that I know now are fake and one's that I'm uncertain of. I feel hands on my shoulders as I drive the spoon end on the table. I take deep breaths so that they'll go away and focus on what I know.

My name is Rachel. I don't know my last name. They say it's Odair, it might be. Peeta's dead. The mutt didn't kill Peeta. The mutt may not be a mutt. He may be someone I love. I was hijacked by the Capital, I'm safe now. I'm nineteen years old.

Slowly I open my eyes. "I'm fine Boggs, I'm okay. Promise" I say softly, then hands go off of my shoulders. I look back to Delly, I pick a simple not real memory. "Like the one that the mut-, that Finnick, killed Peeta." I stop myself from saying mutt, they don't like it when I call him that. Delly's face lights up.

"That's right, he didn't" she smiles at me and I manage one back. Seeder puts a hand on my shoulder and I look over, she smiles.

"How's Kevser?" she asks. I feel my smile grow at the mention of my son. He's four months old now.

"He's great, he can crawl and he's trying to talk. It gets annoying sometimes though, one second he's next to me and the next he's crawled off somewhere else." I laugh.

"He sounds like a great kid." Seeder smiles at me.

"He is."

A few minutes later Chaff looks up at me and puts his arm around Seeder, who turns and smiles at him. "Rach, Seeder and I are getting married." He grins at me and kisses Seeder.

"Oh, that's great" I congratulate them, it really is great.

"We were wondering, if you wanted to sing a song at the wedding for us, it's in a month." Everyone at the table looks up at me hopefully. Should I? It would be fun, and I guess it's really the only thing I could give to them, to these people who I think are my friends. I nod.

"Of course."

"Oh thank you! We don't care what song you sing, you can pick whatever you'd like too." Seeder tells me, I nod and smile at them, then my head jerks up at a clang of metal. I look into the hallway outside the dining room. My eyes widen and lock on the cart being pushed down the hallway. It's full of weapons; guns, bows, arrows, knives. But that's not what my eyes lock on. They lock on a trident, a golden trident that I can barely see under the guns. But it's there, and my mind takes me over as I shut my eyes and my body begins to shake. I try to pull my hands apart and the metal cuffs dig into my skin. The whole room has gone silent, I can feel the eyes on me as I proceed to feel cuts come on my wrists from the cuffs. Hands go on my shoulders. I feel breath on my neck as I try and hold myself together.

"Come on, let's get you back." I hear Boggs, I manage to nod my head as two people help me to my feet, I still shake with terror at seeing the trident. I picture that man stabbing, killing innocent people, innocent children with it, over and over again. I raise my hands so that my fists cover my eyes, which are already closed, but I need to block out what I'm seeing. Slowly I allow my feet to go were I'm being ushered.

;;;;::::;;;;

A week later I pour over the music books I've been sent, Kevser sits in my lap, also looking over the books. Each page has a different song from the before the Dark Days. Song after song I sing to Kevser, trying to find the right one. When I first started my voice was scratchy and horrible. But now it sounds just like it used too, a part of the old me back again. Every day I go through at least five songs, everyday Gale visits me too. I'm allowed back up to eat with the others; they just make sure I don't see anything to set me off again.

Kevser reaches out and turns the page of the book for me. He points to one song, I look to see what it could be. I recognize it, we looked at it a few days ago. I liked it, but not for a wedding song.

"We decided against this one Kev remember?" I laugh at him, he narrows his eyes at me and puts his hand on it again.

"_You'll find better love  
>Strong as it ever was<br>Deep as the river runs  
>Warm as the morning sun<br>Please remember me_

_Just like the waves down by the shore  
>We're gonna keep on coming back for more<br>'Cause we don't ever wanna stop  
>Out in this brave new world you seek<br>Oh the valleys and the peaks  
>And I can see you on the to"<em>

I sing a little of it too him and he smiles at me. I continue to flip through the book, trying to find the perfect one. One that will fit two victors. Of course my mind drifts to the mutt, of Finnick. I have a lot of time to think lately. With much convincing from Gale and others, I think he might actually be a person. A bad person, but a person. Not a mutt.

And I have questions; lots of questions. Questions that only he could answer. I put down the book and bring Kevser closer to me before I tell my son. "I want to talk to your daddy Kevser."

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-Finnick's POV:

Month's, three to be exact, have gone by. My schedule keeps me plenty busy, traveling back and forth from Four and Thirteen. I excelled under training, excelled in minor battle. Risen quickly through ranks for myself. I'm almost a Commander now, almost. Almost the Commander of my home District. But my thoughts are always of her, or our son. I see him once a week, he's growing quickly, he knows me now too. Happy to see me.

I get calls for Rachel's updated conditions today. They're never very promising. _Today she got to go upstairs and spent almost an hour before she snapped. Today she got to use real silverware. We've almost convinced her you're human. She's convinced that maybe you didn't kill Peeta. _They always bring me disappointment. Always bring me pain. Only some good news has come. Seeder and Chaff will be getting married in three weeks, I'll be there for that.

But every night I pray, I hope, I beg for the girl again. The girl I love to come back out. Because somewhere she's there. I just want her to come back to me.

**Song in this chapter were Please Remember Me, Tim McGraw. Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5: Seafoam Green Eyes

**Okay, first off, I am SO sorry I haven't updated in like….a week..that's a long time for me! Just its HUNGER GAMES WEEK! And sadly it's been a pretty shitty week for me so far. But I'm going to the midnight premiere for the movie so hopefully that makes everything better! The song that's in this chapter is on the Hunger Game's soundtrack. I actually bought the soundtrack, I had the exact song I was going to put in this chapter, heard this other one and thought **_**OMG THIS DESCRIBES RACHEL'S THOUGHTS PERFECTLY! **_**So I'm using it Please enjoy and review!**

_Black clouds are behind me, I now can see ahead. Often I wonder why I try, hoping for an end. ~Tomorrow Will Be Kinder, The Secret Sisters._

Rachel's POV:

I look up as the door to my room opens. I grin when I see Haymitch walk in. He's come to bring me out to sing my song for Chaff and Seeder. I don't even flinch when he puts his hand out for me. Most of the bad memories of Haymitch are gone now, ever since we had our talk a few days ago. Our five hour long, talk with each other. "You ready?" he asks me softly and I nod. Kevser is asleep in the other room, since it is late. Haymitch smiles at me and leads me out of my room and to the elevator. "It's just upstairs, you know what you're doing right?" he raises his eyebrow at me and I nod.

"Yes, I'm going to start off behind a curtain, so I can't see anyone, then when, or if I'm ready I nod to Boggs and they'll lift it up so I can see everyone."

"And if you start to slip?" he's referring to my mentality.

"Then I look at Boggs again and he'll put it down, or use my handcuffs." I add the last part with a grin. Yes, I have to sing with my handcuffs on, just in case I go psycho or something. "How was the actual wedding?" I ask, I wasn't allowed to go to that part myself.

"Really great" Haymitch smiles and I know he's not lying to me. I avert my gaze to my shoes and my outfit, still the regular District Thirteen getup. "Haymitch.." I say softly.

"Yeah?"

"I want to talk to Finnick." I look up when I feel his gaze on me, his eyes are wide and shocked.

"You do?" he asks. I only nod before the doors open and we walk out. "That's great, I'll, I'll pass that along to Boggs." I just nod again as I follow him towards the back of the small stage that's in the hall that the reception is in in Thirteen. Once there I put my wrists out for Boggs, who secures handcuffs around my wrists snuggly. He clips a microphone to my ear.

"You ready?" He asks me gently, I barely make out his voice over the sounds of the people just on the other side of the fabric. I nod, and then he nods to a lady, who goes out on stage and calls for the crowd's attention.

"Attention! We have a little present for Chaff and Seeder now." I can tell she's from the Capital by her accent, but I don't really mind as I stand in front of the curtain now. I look over and see Haymitch slip out to go in with the crowd. Boggs gives me reassuring thumbs up; I know they'll be cameras there. And if I do well, then it will be in a propo, to show how good I'm doing. I take a deep breath as I hear the microphone that Boggs clipped to my ear turn on, then I start the biggest step in my recover.

"_Everybody's waiting  
>Everybody's watching<br>Even when you're sleeping  
>Keep your ey-eyes open<em>

The tricky thing  
>Is yesterday we were just children<br>Playing soldiers  
>Just pretending<br>Dreaming dreams with happy endings  
>In backyards, winning battles with our wooden swords<br>But now we've stepped into a cruel world  
>Where everybody stands and keeps score"<p>

I turn my head and nod to Boggs, he gives me a questioning look and I just nod again. I can do this. I can do this. I'm a victor after all. Slowly I watch as the curtain rises and I see the faces. My eyes lock onto Seeder, who smiles widely at me. 

"Keep your eyes open

Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown  
>Everybody's watching to see the fallout<br>Even when you're sleeping, sleeping  
>Keep your ey-eyes open<br>Keep your ey-eyes open  
>Keep your ey-eyes open"<p>

My eyes are scanning the back of the room when I see him. Mutt? No, bad man? I don't know. But I know his name. Finnick Odair. My eyes lock with his. I feel something coming, but I cram my wrists on the handcuffs, my knuckles turning white. But I keep my eyes locked with the sea foam green one's staring back at me. 

"So here you are, two steps ahead and staying on guard  
>Every lesson forms a new scar<br>They never thought you'd make it this far  
>But turn around, oh they've surrounded you"<p>

Slowly my fear and anger fades away, just a little bit. _  
>"It's a showdown, and nobody comes to save you now<br>But you've got something they don't  
>Yeah you've got something they don't<br>You've just gotta keep your eyes open" _I watch as Finnick slowly makes his way closer towards me, my eyes watch every move his muscles make, every single step. 

"Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown  
>Everybody's watching to see the fallout<br>Even when you're sleeping, sleeping  
>Keep your ey-eyes open<br>Keep your ey-eyes open  
>Keep your ey-eyes<p>

Keep your feet ready  
>Heartbeat steady<br>Keep your eyes open  
>Keep your aim locked<br>The night goes dark  
>Keep your eyes open"<p>

He stops in the middle of the crowd, everyone is dead silent. I notice tears streaming down Finnick's face. Bad people don't cry. They don't have feelings. So this man, Finnick, must not be too bad. I bring my connected wrists up to my chest.

"Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown  
>Everybody's watching to see the fallout<br>Even when you're sleeping, sleeping

Keep your eyes open  
>Keep your eyes open<br>Keep your eyes open  
>Keep your eyes open"<p>

I let my eyes go to the other faces I know in the room; Haymitch, Chaff and Seeder, Johanna, Skitt. Then they flit back to Finnick. Everyone is still silent. Then I muster up all the courage I have, I bring that one good memory of him I have to the front of my mind and speak two simple words. Two words that months ago, I would've killed myself for saying.

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"Hi Finn" I even feel the corners of my mouth go up in a small smile.

**Sorry I know it's like SUPER SUPER SHORT! But I wanted to get something up at least since it may be a while until I can update again! Please review! Song is "Eye's Open" by Taylor Swift, found on the HG soundtrack!**


	6. Chapter 6: Waiting

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been busy with life. So anyways. I SAW THE HUNGER GAMES! I LOVED it, even if it is a bit different. Happy to say that now, even though I am team Peeta, my 'minor' team, the team I'm on for the first movie, has to be team Cato. Loved him. On a funny note, I've discovered that I don't hesitate to **_**lightly **_**slap someone upside the head in a friendly way…also I've learned that teachers can't tell the difference and yell at you no matter what your excuse is. But oh well, my friend earned it, he was pushing me into lockers in a friendly annoying way and I did it so I could go sit at a table. Anyways enjoy this chapter, it's in Finnick's POV. Reviews are appreciated! **

_Love will listen to my heart, just as one beat ends another starts, you can hear no matter where you are. ~Dark Days, Punch Brothers._

Finnick's POV:

After she is taken away, most likely back to her room, I run off to find Haymitch. It isn't very hard; he's looking for me too. I grab his shoulders and shake him. "You liar!" I accuse him, he hasn't been telling me everything. He just laughs.

"Come on Finnick, she's getting better. I've even talked to her, face to face." At that I stop shaking him.

"You have?"

"Yeah"

"How'd it go?"

"It went….well. We talked for about five hours." I'm filled with jealously, Haymitch got to talk to her. For five hours. She doesn't try and kill him. I push it down and sigh.

"How was she?"

"She was good, angry at me for things that she's remembering, like when I ditched her in the middle of the Capital." He pauses and takes a breath, "we talked about you." I feel my hopes rise and my eyes light up at this, and then they fall right away. Right, she hates me.

"How'd that go?" I ask as I find sudden interest in my shoes.

"She wants to talk to you" My eyes fly up to look at Haymitch. _She wants to talk to you. She wants. To talk. To me? _He must see the disbelief on my face. "She told me so, yesterday. Finnick she has questions, some, no, most, only you can answer."

My heart swells in me, but there's something else there too. Fear, shock, hope. I wasn't supposed to hear those words. _She wants to talk to you_. Every day I hope, I pray, I beg to hear something along those lines, now, now I hear them. It scares me a little, but I want to talk to her, to hear her voice, directed at me. I want to see her and know she sees me too. "What did the doctors say? When?"

"They said we can give it a try, you'll wear an earpiece; listen to everything you're told to do. You can see her now if you want." I nod, and with that Haymitch starts to lead me to her room.

;;;::::;;;;

An hour later I stand outside the doors to Rachel's room. An earpiece in my ear, Haymitch's words in my head. "No need to worry Finnick, she's strapped down, right now she's just staring at the door, she's calm." He informs me. I approach the door and it opens, I look down and stare at my feet like I was told. No eye contact, only if she wants it. I can feel her gaze bore into me as I step through the doorway and they close behind me. "Don't move." I hear Haymitch whisper in my ear harshly. A minute passes, then another, and another. "Okay, look up slowly; she's calm now, no eye contact, look past her." I slowly lift my chin until I can see her; she's strapped down by metal restraints. I try not to at her, but her eyes lock with mine. I quickly avert my gaze.

"Look at me." She asks gently. I don't even wait for Haymitch to say I can, I go and our gazes lock again. "It's not fair you know, I know they're watching us." She tells me, she glances to the wall, the one way glass. I swallow the lump in my throat to say something.

"Finnick don't" Haymitch warns, I ignore him, I know her, I know her better than anyone else does.

"They said you wanted to talk." Her eyes snap back to mine and her body goes rigid for a split second before she relaxes just a little.

"Look at you for starters" I nod and watch as her eyes study me, she tilts her head slightly to the side, as if she's confused. Her gaze meets mine again and her eyes narrow, slowly she mouths three words, I can't hear them though. She waits a few seconds after she mouths them and then lets a small grin play on her face. I look at her hand when I notice it moving, she circles something around her ring finger with her thumb. "Not real" she whispers, just loud enough so I can barely hear it. Her thumb goes away from her hand and I realize what she was spinning. Our wedding ring.

"What's not real?" Haymitch asks in my ear, I repeat his question to her.

"Before, I guess _they _put it in my head. Whenever I said certain words you'd turn into a mutt and attack me. You didn't, so it's not real. It's a big step." I don't wait for Haymitch to ask the next question.

"What did you say that would make me…hurt you?"

She looks down at her lap and takes a breath. "That I love you, or when I'd ask you to help me." I don't even realize what I'm doing until I'm right in front of the foot of the bed.

"I would _never _hurt you. People don't hurt the ones they love." She stiffens again, either at my proximity or my words, I don't know, probably both.

"I don't even know myself." She whispers.

"Your favorite color is yellow, you always loose things, you like to sleep with the windows open, you don't care if your shoelaces come undone, you'd rather go barefoot, you hate coffee, you love music, your friends with all of us, I don't know why or how, but you're friends with Johanna too." I rattle off little things I know about her. "You're a prankster, you hate sweaters, and your favorite season is fall, because it means another Hunger Games is over, because you love the leaves and how they change color, you said it reminds you of him." I whisper the last part. Her eyes widen and I can see them get moist before me.

"Peeta" I nod slowly and back towards the door, Haymitch said the doctors think she'll snap. Her eyes are clouded over now as I stop only inches from my escape. "You know why I picked that song?" she asks, her eyes still clouded.

"No" I answer truthfully.

"Because that's how I feel here. Everyone's waiting; they just watch me, wait for me to breakdown, to have an episode." Her eyes grow clear again and she focuses on me. "They don't know how confusing it is, how much I do want to remember. Everyone is cautious around me, everyone is scared of me." She takes a shaky breath then crushes my heart with guilt. "Even you're scared of me. You don't trust me." I let my head hang.

"Finnick, get out of there" I hear Haymitch, I rip the stupid thing off my ear. I walk closer to the bed and put my hands just inches away from her feet.

"I remember some things you know." This causes me to look up at her. "At the graveyard, when I had a nightmare in the hotel, when you beat up that boy for hurting me, and when you proposed to me. I just, I don't know if they're real or not." I feel the smile go on my face, she remembers. Sure, it may be only four memories, but they're important ones.

"Those are real. I went to Twelve and met you at the grave; I told you I first loved you there. The hotel one was when you were twelve; you came to me since you knew Haymitch was too drunk. I beat up Zapher because he would've killed you. I proposed to you in my room, and then we ran off and got married, we didn't tell Haymitch until the interviews before the Quell." I explain each one. All the while she twists the ring around her finger.

"You threw me into a wall my first mentoring year. Real or not real?" she asks. I remember the day right away and answer her truthfully.

"Not real, Brutus did that."

She's quiet for a long time afterwards. Then slowly she turns her head to the wall. "Release my wrists please." She asks, a few minutes later, the restraints on her wrists are gone. She reaches one hand towards me. "Put out your hand" she instructs me, I do. I trust her. Then, ever so slowly, she reaches forward until her index finger touches my palm. She starts to trace the rough lines on my palm with her finger. _"All our tears have reached the sea_

_Part of you will live in me_

_Way down deep inside my heart_

_Days keep coming without fail_

_New wind's gunna find your sail_

_That's where you're journey starts." _She sings softly as she traces my hand, and then she stops and reaches to her hand. Slowly, she slips the ring off of her finger and holds it out for me. "Take it, one day I'll remember, maybe, but I don't want you to have to wait for that. If my memories, or some, are true, then you don't deserve to have to deal with this." I stare down at her hand as her words sink in. No, no, no, I don't care if I have to wait twenty years. I reach out with both my hands and take her hand in mine; she stiffens, but doesn't do anything else. I close her fingers over the ring.

"I'll wait as long as it takes, I'll stay, and I'll help you remember." I promise her, I look back up and our gazes lock again. Slowly, she nods.

**I'm happy I got this up sooner than I thought, I'm sick today so I got to work on it! Now I'm going to start the first chapter for a different book. I like working on two different stories at once. It's nice. Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7: Restraint Free

**Just saw the Hunger Games…again! Even better the second time. And ya now it's official Team Cato for the first movie! I was crying when I actually heard his speech at the end. It's not fair that all he knows is how to fight, how to kill, so he's been dead to the world the whole time. He doesn't know anything else about life. The first time I missed the first half of it, this time I didn't and I was sooooo sad for him! Also when my friend saw Peeta crying in the car after the reaping she's like "he's so cute I just wanna go have brunch with him!" I burst out laughing at that, but she says she's Team Gale, which is okay…I guess. Anyways, enjoy the chapter! Oh. My. God. Go listen to "saving amy" by Brantley gilbert, it's like, the theme song for this story, I love it.**

_Just don't tell them I've gone crazy, that I'm still strung out over you. ~The Truth, Jason Aldean_

Rachel's POV:

"Momma" Kevser cheers to me when he wakes up and I immediately smile at his voice.

He's nine months old now, he started talking a month ago, and he can almost walk too. I've figured out he's a very fast learner, he already says complete sentences.

"Momma wears daddy?" he asks me and he tilts his head to the side. I laugh and pick him up and set him in my lap, we're still in District Thirteen, still in my hospital room. We had been out, until I had seen another trident. I had run and hid in a closet and screamed. Kevser had found me then went to go get someone to help me. Apparently he had found Boggs, that's who found me, still screaming my head off, and taken me back to the hospital room. I felt my mouth go in a solid line as I thought over Kevser's question. He means Finnick, who I've accepted as being his daddy. He got back from another mission two days ago, he came to visit right when he got back. He comes to visit a lot, which helps since I'm not angry at him anymore, just scared. I'm only strapped down by my waist when he visits, but soon they say I can be restraint free when he comes in.

"I'm not sure Kev, he must be hanging out with grandpa" I tell him truthfully.

"Aymitch?" he asks, he's not good with 'h's. I nod.

"Yes, Aymitch"

I watch Kevser's face light up as he smiles. He looks so much like Finnick, his bronze skin, his eyes. They've changed from blue to sea foam green, just like Finnick's. He has my blond hair though. As if on cue, the door to our room opens and a doctor walks in.

"Rachel, we would like to try and let you talk with Finnick without restraints today." He looks to Kevser before he continues. "Would you like him to stay in here? Haymitch has offered to watch him if you'd like." I smile and nod, then look down at Kevser, who's been turning his head back and forth like he's watching a ping pong match while we talked.

"Hey Kev, you want to go hang out with grandpa and uncle Chaff and everyone for a while? Mommy has some things she has to do."

Kevser sighs but nods just the same. "You talk to daddy? Right?" His words break my heart, he knows that he's not supposed to be in the room when I talk with Finnick, I don't want to hurt my son.

"Yes, I'm talking to daddy." I pick Kevser up and get out of bed then plop him down on his feet by the doctor. "Okay, I'm ready for him to come in whenever. Kevser go find grandpa with the doctor."

I smile as the doctor puts his hand out for Kevser and he latches his little hand around the man's finger. "Daddy won't hurt you mommy" Kevser whispers to me as he looks back before they leave, he must think the doctor won't hear his whisper.

"Yes, he wouldn't do that, would he" Kevser gives me a huge toothy grin and rapidly nods his head, the doctor pulls his forward more and then the door closes behind them. I take a seat on the bed and take deep breaths and focus on the good memories of Finnick, there are a lot now that he's helped me remember.

The door opens and he stands in the doorway, then slowly steps in. "Don't act differently just because I'm not strapped down by steel bands." I mean for it to sound light, but it comes out harsh.

"Okay. How are you doing?" he asks as he comes fully into the room and the door closes behind him.

As he comes closer, I realize something. I realize how much those restraints helped _me_. Because now, I don't know why, but, I feel even more vulnerable. I feel like now he _can _hurt me. My safety restraints aren't here to help me. And now I'm frightened by him, I'm scared of him, I'm _terrified _of him. My breathing rate picks up as I back away from him a little.

"I'm, I'm fine." I lie, my voice trembles. It makes him come closer though.

"What's wrong?" he soothes as he takes another step towards me, I bite my bottom lip now. I back up even more, and then my back is against the wall. He stops walking and locks his gaze with mine. "What's wrong?" he asks again, just above a whisper.

"I'm scared" I breath out, just barely so he can make out the words. Confusion crosses his face.

"Of what?" As soon as he asks I see him eyes widen, like he doesn't want to hear my answer, but I give it to him anyways.

"Of you"

Hurt, remorse, anger. That's what comes to his face next. The emotion that sticks there is hurt though. He looks like I was the one stabbing him, like he did to me in so many of those foggy messed up memories I have. "I told you before, I would, I will, never. **Never. **Do _anything _to hurt you." He takes a deep breath, "I'd rather die before I hurt you." He comes ever closer though, then he's on his knees in front of me. "Please, please believe me. We had so much. Just, trust me. I would never do anything bad to you; I would never do any of those things that they made you think I'd do. It's me. Finnick. Finn. Your Finn."

"I can't. I can't trust you, not yet." I whisper to him, still scared.

"Remember me, stay with me" he whispers hoarsely, sounding on the verge of tears. I feel my eyes widen and dilate as a memory rushes to my head.

*Flashback*

I run up the stairs, taking two at a time as I bound up to my room.

"Night Haymitch!" I call down the stairs.

"Night Rach" I get a slurred answer that I giggle at. Once in my room I close the door and change into my pajamas, then sit on the bed and wait for him. He should be here soon enough. I shift so I'm cross legged on the comforter.

A few minutes later I hear my window creak open and a smile spreads across my face. I turn and see him making his way in.

"Peeta!" I loudly whisper happily as I get up and hug him, I haven't seen him all day, he had to work a longer shift for his brother.

"Miss me?" he teases, I laugh and nod.

We stay up for about two hours and talk and laugh and just chat, and then I let a yawn escape that doesn't go unnoticed by Peeta. He takes my hand in his, "Come on, you need to sleep." I don't protest as I let him lead me to my bed and tuck me under the covers. He lies on top of the comforter beside me like he always does. Like a big brother, he wraps his arm around me and pulls me closer so I lean into him. After about five minutes I'm half asleep when I feel him get up. I groan in protest and he laughs. "I need to get home." I groan again, he's stayed overnight before, a lot actually. Since he had to work extra today that means he gets the morning off, yeah, I know his schedule.

"Stay with me." I beg as I open my eyes and look into his crystal blue ones. He smiles down at me and sinks back down.

"Always" he mumbles sleepily.

*Flashback End*

My eyes come back into focus to see Finnick's pleading face again.

;;;;::::;;;;

-Finnick's POV:

Her eyes widen and dilate and immediately I think I've hit a nerve, a bad memory. I'm about to get up and leave when a soft smile comes across her unfocused face. She's remembering something. Then silent tears roll down her face. Peeta, she's remembering Peeta. A few minutes later her eyes come back to focus, I plead up at her. Say something, anything.

Slowly I get to my feet again. I'm only few inches away from her, she's stiff. The tears still on her face. I can't take it anymore; I can't see her like this. I slowly lift my hand up and she doesn't move away, well, she can't move away from me. Softly I go and lay my hand on the side of her face. She softens her face at my touch, but her body still remands stiff.

"I remember that" she whispers softly. She remembers my touch. I move my thumb to wipe away her tears. More replace them, and I really can't take it anymore. I want to show her I won't hurt her. I _need _to show her I won't hurt her. So I do the first thing that comes to my mind.

I swiftly duck my head and put my lips on hers and pray she doesn't kill me.

**Ohhh yeah! I was going to end this chapter differently, but I haven't updated in a long time and felt bad so I gave you an ending I think you will like! But we do need Rachel to respond, oh how shall she though? Not really sure though. Please review! I've loved all the reviews I've gotten so far for this story! They're great! **

**Mocking Verse**

**PS: Hopefully I can get an update in by Monday, I have a two hour car ride on Friday so I can write on my iPod!**


	8. Chapter 8: nightmares

**Just to recap the last chapter ended with Finnick kissing Rachel. She had been saying how she's scared of him, he asked her to stay with him to come back to him, she started to cry and then he kissed her. Oh thank you so much for the reviews! I loved all of them! Thankies!**

_I watched her losing her mind, and there's nothing I can do. ~Saving Amy, Brantley Gilbert_

Haymitch's POV:

I sit in the watching room, watching Finnick and Rachel, as I bounce Kevser on my knee. Everyone in the room, which includes myself, Kevser, Chaff, Seeder, Johanna, and about four doctors, has their eyes glued to the couple. Everyone but Kevser is holding their breath, Rachel is backed against the wall, Finnick only inches away. She's literally scared stiff. Rachel has tears rolling down her face, Finnick has the same face on he always does, heartbroken.

My eyes widen as he raises his hand and puts it on the side of her face. I stiffen, stupid boy. But Rachel's face softens.

"I remember that" her voice is projected in the room by microphones that are in her room.

"Aymitch what is daddy doin'?" Kevser asks as he turns his head to look at me. I smile down at him. I've really cut down on my drinking, partly because of Kevser, and partly because they don't allow me to have any except for celebrations.

"Something stupid"

"What's stuid?" Kevser asks me.

"It's like, dumb, not a good thing to do, like you do something without thinking that can get you hurt or lead to bad things. It's someone who isn't smart" Kevser crosses his little arms over his chest.

"Daddy's not stuid!" he pouts.

"Oh God" I hear Seeder gasp and I turn my head to see Finnick kissing my very shocked daughter. Her eyes are wide open and dilated, her hands are in fists against the wall. I cover Kevser's eyes with my hand.

"No, daddy's really stupid Kev" I grumble.

Finnick runs his hands down her arms and then slowly pulls away from my daughters face; I know they're married and all, but I still don't like it. He's holding her arms at her sides, so even if she wanted to, she can't hurt him.

"Stay with me" he pleads again, Rachel's eyes soften, but her hands stay clenched in fists. I can tell her nails are digging into her palm, the streak of blood coming off both hands clearly shows that.

"Let me go" she pleads back. He shakes his head. Gently he moves his hands down and intertwines his fingers in hers. He lifts up their hands so they're in front of their faces.

"See, they fit perfectly" There's a long pause were they both just stare at their hands. "What are you thinking?" he asks her.

"That you're right" she whispers. "You should come to Four too."

"Come to District Four?"

"Yes, Kevser and I are being sent there. Next week, part of recovery. They say it will be good for us. You should come too." At her words Finnick's eyes light up like fireworks.

"Why?" he asks anyways.

"You're his father, he needs you there. Of course we'll be in separate houses, but still. He needs you in his life." His eyes sadden at her words now, but they're understanding. He got his hopes up too far, he thought she'd say she wants him with her. Rachel's eyes drift to their hands again, their wedding rings are against each other. Slowly she drops her hands and looks in Finnick's eyes.

"I'm sorry you know" she tells him softly

"For what?"

"For forgetting. For putting you through this. I'm sorry I don't remember how we loved each other. I'm sorry I can't give you what you deserve. I'm sorry you scare me a bit still. I'm sorry that I won't let you hold me. I'm sorry" he puts a finger to her lips as her voice cracks and tears come up again.

"Shhh, you have nothing to be sorry for" he whispers softly, he leans forward and kisses the tears off her face. "and I told you, I'll wait for you."

She nods, "so you'll come? Live next door."

"Of course I will, I won't go to the Capital, I'll go with you."

I can't help thinking how bad this could turn out. Rachel's not too bad anymore, I guess it might work. I'll be there too. I can keep an eye on things.

;;;;(Rachel's POV, two weeks later);;;;(in District Four);;;(Finnick's there too, sorry bout all the comments)

Once I put Kevser down in his crib I go over and get in bed myself. Haymitch went to sleep a few hours before, so he should be out by now. As I go over to the window I can hear the ocean. That's one of the new things I love about District Four, there's the ocean. I had never seen it before. I love to listen to it, Kevser just loves it too. He ran right into the water when he saw it. I also can see Finnick's house from the window, I see his bedroom light on. He's lying on his bed with a book propped up on his legs.

I open the window to let the salty air inside, I take a deep breath and let the cool sensation relax my muscles. I go over and climb into bed and under the covers. It doesn't take long after I close my eyes for sleep to come. And with sleep, come nightmares.

_I'm walking down a worn path through the woods. I'm in the arena again, the first one. I'm not sure where I'm headed, so I just follow the pull in my chest. That's when I hear him call out to me. _

"_Rachel! Come look what I found!" Peeta calls to me. I pick up the pace little so I can see him faster. Then he comes into view again, he's standing in a meadow, with flowers of all colors growing at his feet. _

"_They're beautiful Peeta" I tell him with a smile. And then, when I'm only ten feet away from him, I can't move. Peeta looks up and smiles at me, he points to the woods. _

"_Our friend is coming" he announces, I shake my head in confusion, just as Cato rushes out into the clearing, sword in hand. I scream as he runs at Peeta, who just stands there, not moving. _

_I can move again, but it's like I'm trapped in a clear box, trapped by glass I can't see. I bang on it with my fists. _

"_PEETA RUN! RUN PEETA!" I scream as Cato comes upon him, in a quickly second his sword slices Peeta's head off and it rolls to my feet. "PEETA!" I break into hysterical sobs as the scene is played over and over and over again. Cato keeps beheading Peeta, each time he does, it rolls in front of my feet. The pile of heads grows and grows. "NO!" _

_But then the person changes and it's no longer Peeta standing there, but Kevser. He stands there as Cato swings his sword back and holds it in the air and gives me a wicked smile. _

"_KEVSER RUN! RUN!" I scream again. _

"_Mommy, wake up. Mommy up!" I hear Kevser plead, my body feels like I'm being shaken, but I just let out another blood curling scream as Cato beheads my son. Just like Peeta, he comes back though, just to be killed again, but in different ways. _

"_STOP! DON'T HURT HIM!" I scream again and again and again as Cato stabs him, slices him, cuts him in so many different ways. _

"_Mommy please! Mommy get up!" Kevser pleads to me just before he dies for the fifth time in front of me. Finally the shaking of my body stops and the box is gone, I turn and run. I run and run as fast as I can into the woods. The faces of the dead haunt me. All of the tributes from my first Games. I see the deaths over and over again. I watch Haymitch die, I watch Chaff die, I watch Seeder die. All while I scream, while I scream bloody murder for it to stop. I'm covered in sweat and shaking like a leaf when I finally come to a stop in the forest and drop to the ground. _

"_Stop! Stop!" I scream over and over and over again. _

_And then a warmth surrounds me, it's welcoming and comforting. "Wake up Rachel, wake up. It's a nightmare, just a dream. Wake up." I hear Finnick's voice. "Get up. It's not real, whatever it is it's not real." I hear him soothe, I feel someone stroking my hair, my back. I feel them draw circle patterns on my back. _

My eyes fly open and I find myself tangled in the sheets. I'm covered in sweat and shaking, just like in my dream.

"I had to watch him die, all of them. Over and over. It wouldn't stop" I cry softly, I'm pulled closer to Finnick, it feels, comforting, familiar.

"It was a nightmare, it wasn't real. You're safe now." Finnick whispers in my ear, I feel his warm breath on my neck.

"Mommy?" I look up when I hear Kevser, he's staring at me, wide eyed. I realize I must of scared the hell outta him, I pull away from Finnick and open my arms for him.

"I'm sorry Kevser" I croon and he comes into my arms and I hold him close. "You're alive. You're alive." I whisper in his ear, more for myself than him.

"Daddy helped you, I went and gots him meself" Kevser looks up and beams at me. I smile at him.

"Good job, you're a big boy huh"

"Yup, daddy help mommy too." I look back at Finnick, and for the first time in nearly a year.

I'm not scared.

**Hizza! I got another chapter up! Now I need to take a shower, pack my bags, pack for my dogs, and clean my room! Yeah and it's a hour till midnight! Whoot whoot! Omg theres a new goat at the barn and he's gray, white, and brown and looks old and I named him Haymitch XD. Please please review! And happy Easter!**

**Mocking Verse**


	9. Chapter 9: No title

**Just got back from track meet! It actually went kinda well. Anyways, I'm not really sure how much longer this story will be. I guess it'll be like…maybe ten more chapters..maybe less. Not sure. Thank you for all the reviews though! Love'em! I might also make up a list of 100 reasons why you shouldn't hate Cato, it's for a friend of mine who says she "hates Cato he's so mean!". But I might post it on here for people to read, so if you have any suggestions please share! R & R.**

_Gives ya feelings that you don't wanna fight. ~Cowboy Casanova, Carrie Underwood_

Rachel's POV:

"Haymitch, just watch him for now, I'm just going into town real quick then I'll be back. Finnick should be back soon anyways." I tell Haymitch for the hundredth time why he has to watch Kevser for me for about ten minutes. Of course he argued, which I pointed out that he would just spend that time drinking or spending time with his grandson anyways.

"Fine, come here squirt." Haymitch opens his arms and Kevser goes right into them.

"Thank you" I smirk and then turn and head outside towards town.

As I walk towards the busier part of District Four many people recognize me and give me waves or nod their head in recognition. I return them with a grin or a smile. I planned this morning to go to town to buy something to eat for dinner. Finnick said he'd get some fish, which he is out catching now. After waking up last night from my nightmare he had stayed in the house the rest of the night, in a chair next to my bed. He had put Kevser back to bed for me too, since I had woken him up before with my screams.

There are more people in District Four then there had been when we arrived, more people moving here to be safe. The rebellion is said to be coming to a close, there's been talk of the rebels planning to capture Snow soon. Good, he deserves to die. I look around the groups of people. It's strange really, I'm a familiar face to them, but they're complete strangers to me. I look for a familiar face to me, for anyone, anyone at all, but I find none. I stare at the ground while my feet take me to the little food store near the district square.

A bell rings as I push open the door. I look up as I walk towards the counter and the man standing behind it. "Hi Rachel, what can I get for you?" he asks me casually.

"Just a bag of rice." He nods curtly before disappearing behind the counter to fetch it for me. I get a sinking feeling in my stomach while he's gone. Like a bottomless pit, like a void. Like something bad is going to happen. I just don't know what. I shift my weight back and forth between my feet and glance around. Nothing seems out of place. I glance outside; it's the time of year that I love, that I've been told I love. The changing of spring to summer. I'm still staring outside when the sound of the rice being placed on the counter makes me jump.

"Sorry, here you go" I say as I hand the man some money and take the bag. I walk outside the store, my stomach still feeling strange, as I walk back amidst the crowds. As I'm looking around, I barely see it. Barely see the child sitting against a wall, his knees scrapped up from falling. And they're bleeding. A lot. My eyes lock on the blood and I feel my muscles tighten. _No. Not here, not now. Not with all these people._ I feel my senses all blend together as I drop the bag of rice and turn and sprint the other direction as fast as I can go, causing quiet a big scene.

"Rachel?" I hear a faintly familiar voice that I can't place, it's not Finnick though, I know that. I ignore it though as everything starts to take new shapes. Everything in my eyes grows darker, meaner. Hijacked.

"It's not real. It's not real" I mutter to myself as I continue running. I need to get away from these people, before I hurt them. I don't even notice that my feet are still moving until I run right into a wire fence. I don't think and I clutch it in my hands. I lock my fists around the wire and focus on the pain. The searing pain that travels up from my hands, caused by the slightly barbed wire. It's not enough though, I feel the shaking kick in. I go and drunkenly scamper over the fence, getting long scraps down my legs and arms. I run again, I run until the visions are too much to take, then I crumple to the ground. I sit, with my knees pulled tightly into my chest and slam my eyes shut. I put my head on my knees and wrap my arms around myself as I lock my muscles.

"Rachel?" I hear the voice from before, I can place it now. Skitt. A spasm runs through my body as I jolt in my sitting position, causing myself to whimper. "Rachel?" he repeats. But then the visions come through my shut eyes. All the lives I've taken, the people that I knew full well I was taking their life, come to take mine. They taunt me, they beat me. Then I begin to scream. I scream for the only person I know who can help me right now. I don't even lift my head, I just scream into my legs.

"Finnick!" As I scream I can feel their eyes on me, and I know I've caused a crowd to gather. Skitt is still in front of me though.

"He wouldn't hurt you. Finnick's nice." He soothes, I _know _that. I want him to come help.

"Get." I gasp as the boy from District Three slaps me across the face. "Get Finnick, I need Finnick" I manage to get out.

"Okay." I sense Skitt moving before I hear his voice. "Someone go get Finnick, bring him here. Now! Don't just stand there!" he commands harshly.

;;;:::;;;;

-Finnick's POV:

I stand perfectly still in the water, up to my waist. My whole body is still soaking wet since I decided to swim before fishing. I have my trident poised above my head as I wait for a fish to come close enough for me to take. I watch as one slowly makes its way towards me. Closer, just a little bit closer.

"Finnick!" I hear someone call and the fish darts away. Shit. I turn in the water to see a boy, around fifteen, running across the sand towards me. By his red face, he's been running for a while. He stops at the water edge and kneels over, putting his hands on his knees and gasping for air. "Go. Go to the medicine store." He gasps out.

"Why?" I ask bluntly.

"Rachel. Flashback, big one." I'm off sprinting to where he told me before he can even finish his sentence. I throw my trident to the side and leave it in the sand. I run barefoot down the road towards the medicine store. I'm running so fast that soon I don't even feel my legs moving. Sweat mixes with the beads of water that still cling to my bare chest. Once I reach the square I skid to a stop and look around. Which way _is _the store? I look around and catch sight of a barbed fence; it's been bent to the side, like someone climbed over it. No, no, she's hurt too. I run and hurdle over the fence, then I see the large crowd gathered by the back of a building. There are about fifty people there; all crowding around what I'm sure is Rachel in the middle of a flashback. I rush up and shove my way through the crowd.

"Move! Go away! All of you!" I demand as they form a path for me. What I see sends mixed emotions through me. Rachel sits in the dirt, she's bleeding from scraps down her arms and legs, blood comes from her hands too; it's from the fence. She's curled in a tight ball, arms locked around her legs that she's brought to her chest. Her head is pressed on her knees, her eyes locked shut. She's not shaking though. Her breathing is labored and I see her tense, locked muscles spasm once as she winces. As if she's being hit. Skitt sits off to the side, a hand on her shoulder, whispering words to her. He looks up at me and gives me a sad smile, I question him with my eyes and he nods. I slowly walk over to her and kneel in front of her. I put my hands on her arms gently. "Rachel?" I call softly to her. Her breath catches for an instant before it continues to be labored. "Hey, I'm here. It's not real. Whatever you see, it's not real sweetheart." I croon softly, hoping that Haymitch's nickname that he uses for her will comfort her more. I still get no response. I move my hands up and down her arms, hoping I can rub some of the tension out of them. "Shhhh, you're okay. You're okay." I tell her over and over again; slowly her muscles begin to relax under my touch. I stand without taking my hands off of her and make my way behind her. I lean up against a building and then pull her into my lap. I wrap my arms gently around her; I find her hands and then begin tracing different shapes on the back of them. She leans up against me and puts her head on my wet chest. Her shirt is soaking wet now, but we don't care, I'm still trying to get her back. "It's not real. Not real" I whisper in her ear. Slowly she lifts her head from her knees. Then hysteria sets in.

Her body begins to tremble as she starts to sob. Her shoulders shake as she cries. I pull her close to me and she buries her face in my chest. I gently pick her up so she's facing me and hold the back of her head, playing with her hair. I run my other hand up and down her back as I let her cry.

I then notice the silence, I look up and see only Skitt is left, the crowd gone. 'Thank you' I mouth to him, he nods. 'I'll see you for dinner?' he mouths back, I nod. With that he turns and leaves us alone. With that I put my head right by her ear, my breath falling softly on her neck.

"You're okay, its okay. It's over now."

"I didn't want to kill them Finn. I didn't want to." She sobs. I rub her back.

"I know, you didn't have a choice, just like I didn't. We all didn't have a choice."

"I'm a terrible person" She mumbles, so softly that I almost don't hear her. I pick up my head and use my hands and take hers so she has to look me strait in the eyes.

"Don't _ever _say that. Do you hear me? You are not a terrible person." I tell her sternly, she shakes her head.

"I've killed so many people. I've put _you _through so much, too much. I don't know why you still love me."

_Well, at least she knows I love her. _"I love you, I always will. I don't care how much you've put me through, it's all worth it. It's all worth it seeing that you trust me more every day. You're still you, different, but you. I love being able to make you fall in love with me all over again. I still love you for who you are. You're still the same girl, deep down; we're all just trying to get her to come out again. And I don't care that you've killed people. So have I. So has Chaff, and Seeder, and Johanna, hell, even Haymitch. We all have, we're not proud of it, we were forced too, but we did. You can't change that now." She sighs, long and exasperated. I lean forwards and put my forehead on hers. I watch as her eyes droop down slightly.

"I trust you" she whispers, her breath teasing my lips. I suddenly become very aware of the position we're in. Her legs straddle around my waist, my hands softly on the sides of her face, her hands on my bear chest, just over my abs. She hasn't been this close to me since, since our last night together, before the Games, before the rebellion. "For a thousand years" A smile spreads across her face.

"And a thousand more" I tell her, she actually laughs a bit at my response. I pull my head back and look at her arms, the dried blood that streaks down them. I then go and pick her up as I stand, she lets out a small sound of surprise that I laugh at. "We need to get you cleaned up" I say simply.

"Okay" she leans into me as I start walking down the road Victor's Village, ignoring the stares we get as I carry my girl down the streets bridal style.

;;;:::;;;

I take her over to my house; I don't really think it would do Kevser any good to see his parents covered in blood, even if it is just a little. I walk into the kitchen and place her on the countertop, her leg in the big sink. "It might sting a little bit" I warn her and she just nods. I go and turn on the water, then go and rinse off her bare leg. She winces and clutches my shoulder. "Sorry"

"Its okay" she sighs, I guess the pain is only for a second. I continue cleaning her cuts as a comfortable silence fills the air. She doesn't speak up again until I'm drying her leg in a towel. "I guess I'll just make eggs for dinner" I chuckle a little bit, after all that's happened she's still thinking of what to have for dinner. Acting like nothing happened.

"That sounds good" I agree, I always enjoyed having breakfast for dinner as a kid. It made me feel, rebellious. Well, as rebellious as a five year old can feel. "What should I do now? A leg or an arm?" I smirk at her and she laughs at me. She swaps one leg out of the sink for the other.

"A leg" she tells me. "Is Skitt coming for dinner too?" She asks after she winces when the water first comes in contact with her skin, causing the water at the bottom of the sink to be a tinted red.

"Yeah, he said he was"

"Good, I haven't seen him in a while"

"Neither have I, I owe him a lot."

"Why?" I look up at her face from my cleaning for a second and smile.

"He kept you alive in there" There's a pause before she answers.

"Yeah, he did."

After I finish her other leg and dry it and I go and dry my own hands.

"You should go wash yourself, I can do my arms." Rachel offers, I look down at myself. Her blood has dried on my chest from my holding her. I nod. I turn to go but I'm surprised when she catches my hand. She squeezes it so I look back at her, she smiles again at me. "Thanks Finn"

I smile and step closer to her; I move quickly and kiss her on the cheek. "My pleasure" I grin.

And she didn't even flinch.

**Hurray! Long chapter! Haha but I feel kinda bad for myself, I need to finish my reaserch paper, which I put off doing this because it's boring to do school work, and I ate a whole chocolate rabbit I got for Easter. Anyways today's a good day, like six stories on my watch list were updated! Wahoo! So hope you enjoyed and please please review!**

**Mocking Verse**


	10. Chapter 10: Namesake

**Da dummmmmmmm! Update! Thankies for all the reviews! I love them all! **

_Winter getting colder, summer getting warmer. ~American Ride, Toby Keith_

Rachel's POV:

Two hours later I sit with Skitt on the floor playing with Kevser. Finnick and Haymitch sit at a chess board, Finnick wearing an arrogant grin as Haymitch scowls trying to find a move to make without losing.

"This isn't fair" Haymitch mumbles.

"What isn't fair? That your brain is slower than mine, that I'm clearly better at you than chess, or both?" Finnick wonders aloud. I burst out laughing at this. Finnick looks back and smiles at me.

"I think both" I get out.

"I could ground you for that; I'm still your father" Haymitch glares at me.

"You haven't grounded me in what, seven years?" I ask as I remember the time when Haymitch walked in to find Peeta and me lying in the same bed in the morning. He had had a total overprotective father moment then. It was strait home from school every day and I had to share a bed with Haymitch for a week. Worst. Week. Ever.

"Yeah, but I could still do it"

"What did you do?" Skitt asks me as he helps Kevser with a puzzle, pretending to not know what to do himself.

"I walked into her room one morning to find her and Peeta in bed together. She was twelve, he was fourteen"

"Peeta was thirteen Haymitch" I correct him. Finnick turns and raises an eyebrow at me, a sly grin on his face.

"What were you guys doing?" he purrs.

"_Nothing, _he came in the night before and feel asleep there." I let out a yelp when I notice Skitt is right next to my face.

"I wouldn't let Finnick get any further into this topic, unless you want Kev to ask questions that Finnick will tell him answers to when he's about eleven." He whispers into my ear. My mouth falls open into an "Oh" as I get what he's saying, so I do change topics.

"So, how did everyone like their dinner?"

"Oh it was great, I loved the eggs" Finnick smirks to himself.

"God, shut up Finnick you have a disgusting mind!" I half yell.

"Hey! I got one!" Haymitch suddenly exclaims and we all stare at him, he takes his chess piece and moves it. "Check-mate"

"What the hell" Finnick turns back to the game to see what Haymitch did.

"I could ground you too Finnick for swearing in front of my grandson, I am your father too." Haymitch leans back into his chair.

"Like you haven't swore in front of him yourself" Haymitch takes a swig of his liquor.

"Nope" the 'p' pops as he says it, "Only drink in front of him, which I just said it's apple juice, and there, problem solved."

"What if he asks you for some?" Skitt asks

"He did, I said it was adult apple juice" my father is clearly very proud of himself for this.

"Very clever Haymitch" my voice drips with sarcasm, but he plays along.

"Why thanks sweetheart"

I just sigh and we all sit in silence for a while, except for Finnick groaning as he studies the chess board. Finally it's Kevser who speaks up.

"Momma, what my nam?" he asks softly. Skitt laughs at his question.

"Kevser Peeta Odair" I tell him.

"Who Peeta?" he asks me. All heads in the room turn to me. I'm sure the sadness in my eyes, I know, is evident. As hundreds of memories rush into my mind. I'm transported back in time, to when I held him in my arms. When we told each other we loved each other, that we always would, that we're each other's. I get the feeling of him in my arms again, while he told me to go on and find someone else. All while, a sword was protruding through him, and he was taking his final breaths. I take a shaky breath and barely hear Finnick.

"We'll tell you when you're older." But I ignore Finnick, and subconsciously begin to tell my son about who he's named after.

"Peeta, Peeta Mellark saved my life. He was an artist, a baker. He always double knotted his shoelaces; he never took sugar in his tea. He always slept with the windows open, and he never missed a sunset. He brought me to Haymitch when I was starving, when I was hurt, he gave me a home, he gave me a new life. He visited me every single day. Just like he promised he would. Peeta became my best friend, the one person I trusted the most. I owed my life to him; I owe my life to him. Every night he would sneak into my room through the window and stay until I fell asleep, sometimes he stayed all night long. He would watch out for me at school, and at home. Everywhere really. When he was chosen for the Hunger Games I volunteered to go with him, saving a little girl. I vowed that _he _would be the one to come out. I told myself that I owed him at least that much for everything he had done for me. He deserved to live, because he was the best person to ever walk on this planet. Then, one night, he kissed me. And he became so much more than just a friend. He was everything to me. In the Games, we stayed together, we cared for each other. We were going to win too, he was going to win. That was my plan, but everyone else had a different one. He sacrificed himself for me, so I wouldn't get killed. He died in my arms. He promised I'd see him again though." I take another breath, and now I'm aware of arms around me, Finnick. "I've seen him again too. A few times, actually. In dreams, when I did die in the Quell. He told me to go back, that I had more to do. I see him in flashbacks too, some happy, some sad."

When I look up from my lap I see Kevser looking intently at me, listening to every word I had said. Everyone in the room is silent, some things I said even they didn't know.

"Peeta good?" Kevser questions me after a little bit. I get out of Finnick's arms and go and pick up my son. I bring him close to me.

"The best" I smile and he smiles back. "You need to get to bed though Kev, it's late." In response Kevser yawns, and soon after so do I. My flashback took a lot of energy out of me. Finnick comes over and offers his hands out to take Kevser.

"I'll put him to bed, you should go get ready yourself, Haymitch beat me anyways." I nod as I hand Kevser to Finnick and he carries him up the stairs to his room. After I say goodnight to Haymitch and Skitt, who is staying overnight here until he leaves to go off to the Capital the following day, then head upstairs myself. I go into my room and change my pants into shorts since it's usually warm here at night. I strip off my shirt and then go and throw another one over my head. I stop though, holding my shirt up, as I catch my reflection in the mirror. I see the scars, deep, dark, and each one telling another story, as they run around my body. It makes me look exactly like what I am, what I've been through. Broken and put back together, piece by piece.

I just stare at my reflection, eyes going up and down my own body. Scars run down my legs, on my stomach that wrap around my torso to my back, where more live. On my arms, even my neck. Scars from torture, from abuse, from being raped. My hips, which once were home to the worst of them, now are nothing compared to my sides, my back. My brain. Mental scars, scars that will never fully heal, never leave me. Today was proof of that. I was just a piece in their Games, because you can't not be. It's not possible. You do what they wanted you too, or you die, or someone you love dies. Either way, you become a player or you're the cause of death yet again. Either way you cause death, you take away life. Sure, some of the victors can forget, can live happily, not have to remember what happened. Like Finnick, happy, lively Finnick. And Chaff, and Seeder, and even Johanna.

But I can't

I'll always be trapped. Still in the arena. Still a player. Because they've made me that way, made it impossible to forget, even for a minute. They've changed me. Programmed me to have the flashbacks, to feel the need to hurt someone, and if I fight it, I get taunted, get mentally damaged.

I'm the mutt. Not Finnick. I am.

I look past my reflection when I hear a knock on the door as it creaks open. Finnick pokes his head in a little. His eyes grow worried when he sees me.

"You okay?" he asks. In answer, I move down one of my hands and trace the scar that runs across my abdomen, from Zapher. With that, Finnick comes into the room, he stands behind me, places his hands on my sides. And gently, softly, with his fingers, traces the scars. "You're still beautiful" he whispers.

"I'm a mutt" I whisper back, he abruptly stops tracing my scars and meets my eyes in the mirror.

"No, no you're not"

"Yes I am. You're able to forget, for just a few minutes maybe, but you don't have to think about it all the time. You're still you. I'm not. I'll never be the same. I'll always have flashbacks. They changed me, that's the one thing I didn't want to happen. I don't deserve Haymitch, or Kevser. Or you" The last part is just above a whisper. Finnick moves his arms so they encircle me and takes my hands in his, never breaking eye contact in the mirror.

"I don't care. I don't care if you can't forget. I'll help you through it, we all will. You've been through enough, you deserve us all. I'm not leaving you"

"Promise?" I ask. In response, he takes my left hand in his and brings them up to my face, so I can see the matching rings on our hands.

"I already have"

**I hope you liked it! I'm trying to get Finnick back to his old self slowly, since Rachel is getting better too. So hopefully I can get that to happen. Next chapter we learn why Skitt is there! Please press the button that starts with an 'R' and ends in a "W"! **

**Mocking Verse**


	11. Chapter 11: Something to Remember

**Gosh I haven't updated this in a while. Sorry bout that. My fault. Anyways, thanks for all of the reviews! I love them all! So, personally, I think people will like this chapter. Anyways, I need to go finish getting my heat up dinner then I'll start writing the chapter..so yeah. R & R Oh, and in answer to someones question, Kevser is like….ten and a half months old now XD, yeah, he's just super smart so he can talk some and kinda walk and all that jazz. **

It's the cheapest grain he's ever sold. But he's still holding on. ~Amarillo Sky, Jason Aldean.

Rachel's POV:

I wake up that night abruptly from a nightmare. Even though I already forget what it was about, it wasn't too bad. Still, I sit up in bed and look to my right. A smile comes across my face; Finnick sits in a chair by my bedside, his hand clasping my own. He's asleep, he looks peaceful actually. I let my mind wander as I watch his face and listen to his breathing.

I've always known Finnick. I guess my whole life really. Is there a time when he wasn't a part of it? I guess so, only snippets of memory though. Like Peeta saving me. All of the full memories that the Capital didn't take from me, he's in them. I knew him then. When I first met him; I remember that. Then the years after. When I used to run to him when Haymitch and I arrived in the Capital for the Games. Some of those memories exist still. When I was fourteen, I remember us changing out Haymitch's personal liquor supply in his room with bottles filled with aged milk. I remember going to him once, after I was scared about something. And then my mind tries to wander farther back. To Peeta. I try to think of a time when I didn't know Peeta, when he wasn't in my life. I can't remember. And with that, I realize something that makes me panic.

My parents.

I can't remember my parents. My breathing picks up and I clutch Finnick's hand as if my life depends on it. What was the color of their eyes? How tall were they? What color was their hair? What did their voices sound like? Nothing. I can remember nothing of them. And with that I curl myself into a ball on my bed, the only thing not constricting myself is the hand that holds onto Finnick. I can feel him move after a few seconds.

"Rachel?" I hear him call out to me, but I'm trying to remember. One little thing, that's all I want to remember. One simple memory of my parents. I feel myself be surrounded by Finnick's arms as the bed shifts as he brings me into his lap, he softly strokes my hair. "It's not real. It's okay." He soothes. But no, it's not okay. I'm not having a flashback. I'm going through something much worse than that. I can't remember my own father or mother. Can't remember the people who raised me until I was about ten, eleven? I don't even know that either. I take a raspy breath as I bring in more air into my lungs. "It's okay" he soothes to me again. I shake my head furiously.

"No! No, it's not okay Finn, it's not okay!" I snap, this confuses him.

"What?"

"I can't remember. It's not okay. I couldn't have forgotten them." I sob now into his shirt.

"Who?" he asks, not understanding.

"My parents. They took away my parents!" I almost yell, then, because I feel like I have too. Because I _know _I have to let it out. I ball up the front of Finnick's shirt, stuff it in my mouth, and scream. I scream, and I scream, and I scream. And Finnick lets me. He doesn't try and stop me. He just pulls me closer, muffling my screams even more, so no one but us can hear them.

After I'm done Finnick just coaxes his shirt out of my mouth, he takes my hand and silently leads me to the bathroom. He wets a cloth for me and hands it to me so I can wash off my face. He strips himself of his shirt, since it's now soaked from my tears. "There are extra shirts in the top drawer of the dresser that will fit you." I tell him while I continue to wash my face. He gives me a surprised look, but just nods. I don't even know why they're there myself, but they were there when we arrived, and I'm too lazy to move them.

As Finnick is gone I finish washing my face and my mind keeps searching. For _something _to remember. For _anything _to feel familiar to me. Something from the past that I _know _is true. Anything, anything at all. My mind searches through what little memories of my past that wasn't taken from me. I can't have Peeta, or my parents, the memories from the Games are horrid, I don't want those. I'm still thinking when Finnick walks in. He turns me to face him and takes my hands in his.

_This. _My mind tells me, screams at me. _This is familiar. _Finnick is a memory. One that's not forgotten. Because he's here now. And, since my mind wants _something _from my past to still feel the same. I do what I thought I'd never do, but then again, I've been doing a lot of things I thought crazy these days.

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I put my hand behind his head and bring his lips down to meet my own. I kiss him, and after getting over a moment of utter shock, he kisses me back. And there it is. Something familiar. I can feel Finnick's huge smile against my lips, and as his hands move and plant themselves softly on my waist, I pull back. I stare into Finnick's eyes, and he stares into mine. And then he steals my game.

"You just kissed me. Real or not real?" he doesn't break eye contact with me while he asks.

"Real" I tell him softly.

"I'm not complaining here, but, why?"

"To find something I remember, something good." I answer truthfully.

"Did it work?" he smirks at me.

"Like a charm"

;;;;:::;;;;

Later, after we've all eaten breakfast, I sit on a couch facing Skitt; Kevser in my lap and Finnick next to me.

"Well, I was sent here to actually ask you two a favor. As you know, the war is coming to an end, we only need one last thing." He pauses, so I take a guess.

"Snow" I say, well, I state, not really guess. Skitt nods.

"Yes, Snow. So, what we have planned is a capture mission, I'm not allowed to give you the details for it, that's classified information. But, what we do need, that we think you can help us with, is a diversion."

"No" Finnick cuts him off abruptly, not allowing him to explain. "If you even think of taking her to the Capital, I swear I will rip your limbs-" I put my hand on Finnick's arm and he stops and looks at me, I motion down to Kevser with my eyes, who is staring at his dad with wide eyes. He doesn't understand what he means, but he knows by Finnick's tone it's not nice. "No Skitt" Finnick says simply. Skitt sighs.

"It's not what you think Finnick. All we need is an interview, just something that Beetee can air on televisions that will be so interesting that _everyone _rebel or not, will be glued to the screens, hanging onto every single word. Even Snow. While that's playing the team will move in and grab Snow, if things go according to plan." I allow Skitt's words to sink in for a while before I speak.

"Just an interview isn't that interesting"

"Yes, we know, but your story is. Tell your life story; tell everything that's happened to you, things that no one knows." I busy myself with stroking Kevser's head while I think. Tell them everything. Tell them about Peeta, tell them how I can't remember. Tell them about how Haymitch raised me, tell them why I volunteered. Tell them what I felt in that arena; tell them what it's actually like. Tell them about after. Tell them about Zapher. Tell them about the threats. Tell them about Finnick. Tell them. Tell them. Tell them. Tell them everything. Show my scars, show my tears, show my rage.

"Would I be alone?" I ask after about ten minutes of silence.

"If you want, you can always have Finnick or Haymitch or Kevser come in whenever you would like."

"When would we do it?"

"I can get the camera crews in here and set up by tomorrow at noon. We could be finished by that night, and if you ever want to stop, you just say and we will." Skitt nods to me. I look him over. If there's one person in this world that's not directly family and I fully trust, it's Skitt. And because of that, I nod.

"I'll do it."

**Just a note of random advice: Museums don't like it if you continuously go up and down the escalators for ten minutes trying to get over your fear of them..I learned that today. I hope you liked it, the interview is next chapter! Please please review!**

**Mocking Verse**


	12. Chapter 12: Interviewpart one

**Damnnn sorry I haven't updated in a while. Sucks right? Anyways I would've earlier but I had a horse show Sunday, which went well despite that my horse noticed smoke coming off a grill, freaked out, and started backing up super-fast. I kicked him to go forward while not touching his mouth what so ever and so he reared and I got whacked in the face by a horse head. Joy. But other than that he was perfect, so that's good Anyways I know everyone is looking forward to reading this and most of you probably don't even read this but I like writing it, so whatever, I know I mostly just skip this part myself. Enjoy!**

_It's a teenage wasteland out there, live it up, live it up, live it. ~Liv It Up, Alexander Ludwig_

Rachel's POV:

I took a deep breath and reposition myself for about the thousandth time on the rock outside. It had been Haymitch's idea to do the interview outside, in case I needed some air, which I probably will need. I look again around me, the three cameras', all at different angles. The microphone that hangs above me. And then there's my group of personal supporters. Haymitch, Finnick, and Kevser. Skitt's here too, he's helping the camera crews, and this woman named Cressida who was sent down with film crews to interview me. Skitt is just there to make sure she doesn't go into topics that might make me completely lose my mind, like ask the ways Finnick killed me over and over again.

"You ready?" Cressida asks me again, I look to Haymitch.

"If you need any one of us, we're here sweetheart." He promises me, sober for once. I nod and take a deep breath.

"Ready"

"Okay, we're filming in five, four," a man behind a camera counts down. "three, two, one, action!" he calls out and red lights on all three cameras turn on simultaneously. I know what I'm supposed to do, just talk, just rant, say whatever comes to mind, and if need be, Cressida will ask questions. Only I'm on screen.

"My name is Rachel. I'm not really sure what to take as a last name though. So you can pick whichever you'd like; Abernathy or Odair. Both are not my real last name though." I pause and Cressida steps in to prod me on.

"What is it?"

"I don't know. I mean, I guess I knew, but that was taken away from me. Sometimes, I get close to remembering, I'm pretty sure it started with a 'C', but no one knows. But I know I grew up, well, from age eleven, or ten? Onwards, as Rachel Abernathy. I was adopted by Haymitch, after" I sharply inhale air, I know I need to talk about him, I have too. It will save lives if I do, innocent lives.

"After what?"

"After Peeta saved me." I say it just loud enough for the cameras to pick up.

"Peeta saved you?" Cressida clearly didn't know this, I guess I never talked about it aloud.

"Yes"

"How?" she questions. I sigh, I'm not really sure. For help, I look to Haymitch, who nods and then walks over, sitting down next to me.

"I don't know, but he does." I motion to Haymitch, the cameras turning to him. I listen myself, wanting to know _exactly _what happened.

"When she was eleven, her father died, her mother had died some time before that. From what the boy told me, she had broken her ankle and then collapsed in his backyard, getting soaked to the bone and almost dead from starvation. He picked her up and carried her to my house. At first I said no, then he threatened me. Said if I didn't take her in, or at least let her stay until she healed, he wouldn't bring me my liquor no more. He also promised to come and take care of her himself every single day. So I agreed. And he did come, every single day he came to take care of her. Carrying her up and down the stairs, playing with her, talking with her. She grew on me too, so when she finally healed, I let her stay, took her as my own daughter. Peeta still came every single day to see her, I enrolled her in school and he'd walk her there every day, and walk her back home. The two were inseparable." Haymitch motioned to me with his head before continuing on. "Miss tough girl over here would come home with bruises and cuts, at first I would ask her what happened. All she would say was that someone trash talked about Peeta being a baker's boy. Pretty soon I just stopped asking, since every time I got the same response."

"What else did you get from your view on their relationship?" Cressida takes advantage of Haymitch's presence.

"Oh, a lot. They hung out every single day; it was like he was a puppy following her around, or the other way around. Not really sure. He usually ate dinner with us, or she went to his house. Just friends, she would say when I asked. Once she got detention too. Got to school, apparently walked right up to a girl and broke her nose right then and there, for no reason." While Haymitch laughs that memory comes back to me. I know why I punched her.

"She kissed him" I whisper, Haymitch looks at me in surprise.

"What?"

"I saw them kissing behind school the day before. I hated her guts for it." I say louder.

"Well played" Haymitch beams at me and I scoff. "Anyways, a few months after that I was sober. She went off to bed and soon after so did I. In the morning she was still sleeping, usually she would be up hours before me, so I went to check on her in her room. Opened the door to find her all cozy with him in her bed. Ugh, worst thing ever to find your daughter with an older guy in bed. I got pretty mad then, but got over it. Then a few months later he got reaped, she volunteered to go with him. She made it pretty clear to me that he was the one who was gunna come outta there, not her. But he thought the same, but with her getting out." Haymitch stops talking there.

"So, Rachel, I know Haymitch knows as well, but what was it like, for you? In the arena? What's it feel like to be a tribute?" Cressida asks me. I take a deep breath.

"Being in the arena." I pause to breathe some more, all memories flooding into my head. "Being in the arena is so utterly terrifying that it's almost surreal. The first time you go in there, it scares the shit outta you. Just imagine; you're going into an arena, where you know the gamemakers are just going to make it a living hell, literally. And you're with your best friend, and you're also determined that you aren't the one who's coming out alive. And when it starts, you don't think. You can't afford to really think about what you're doing. It's you act or you die, simple as that." I pause.

"What about killing?" Cressida presses me onwards, I look up from my hands that I've been staring at and see that Haymitch has left my side. I look to Finnick, because I won't feel right holding my son and talking about the people, the children, I have killed. Finnick walks over and sits beside me; he grasps my hand and squeezes it.

"The killing is more than what it looks like. When you take a person's life away, it just doesn't make you bloody, it just doesn't give you the permanent label as a murderer, because that's what you are, what you're doing, you're murdering. It takes all that you are, all of yourself as a human being. Because you don't think about how that person has family back home, you don't think about their friends, their parents, their lives. You think about yourself and you act, and then. After, after." I stumble with my words, the regret, the guilt, and the pain of having killed all of those kids myself coming crashing down on me. Because that's something I wasn't allowed to forget, the Capital didn't tamper with arena memories. Those are real. Every stab of that knife that I took, every slice, every arrow. All of it, regret, pain, guilt. "After it comes crashing down on you like a ton of bricks. But, you don't get to forget it. You don't get to go and feel bad, or sorry. Because after you just run away, you run away, stay alive a little longer, then just do it again. You do it again, and again, and you never get away from it. It never leaves you, it's always there. And every single night you see their faces! Every single time you close your eyes, you hear their pleas as they beg you! As they beg you not to kill them, to let them live just a little bit longer! But you do it anyways! Because you have too! BECAUSE YOU DON'T GET A CHOICE!" I'm screaming by the end and Finnick pulls me close to him, stroking my hair softly and whispering how it's not my fault. "It's all my fault, all my fault." I say over and over as he rocks me gently back and forth in his lap, the cameras still rolling.

Eventually Finnick manages to get me to calm down enough so that I can face the cameras again. I take a shaky breath before I start talking. "It was worse for me in the arena though. Having a friend there, I know I volunteered, but it made it harder. When, when he. When he saved me from Cato, I felt like my whole world, the sole thing in my life, had just been shattered, completely destroyed. None of you know what it feels like to hold your best friend, the man you wanted to spend forever with at the time, in your arms, and literally watch his life slip away. You don't know." I barely speak loud enough for them to hear me, Finnick's arm around my shoulders gives me a reassuring squeeze. "You don't know how hard. How hard it was to just make the promises I did for him, to not just take my own knife and kill myself right there. How that cannon, when it sounded, blew the life outta me and shattered my heart into millions of pieces. No one knows what that feels like. And I hope no one ever does."

I take a few moments to try and recompose myself, after I do get control I nod to Cressida for another question. "What's it like? Being a Victor?" she asks the question everyone wants to know the answer too.

"What's it like?" I repeat, she nods. "Well, first I'll say how all citizens look at what it must be. We don't have to work anymore, we get loads of money, we get anything we want, we never get reaped again. It sounds fantastic. Then you look at us. You see District Eight, addicted to morphing. You see Johanna Mason, heartless, brutal. You see Haymitch, he has to be the world's biggest drunk. And then you despise us, how we just ignore everything, how we just go off and mentor those kids, act like it's nothing. But here's the reality: it sucks. We live with the nightmares, all of us. Careers hide it by throwing themselves into mentoring, trying so hard to get their kids back. District Three buries themselves in electronic work. The rest of us; who don't have work to hide behind, deal in different ways. Morphing takes away the emotions, the horrid emotions that came from the Games that come from mentoring. Drinking makes the pain go away temporarily, lets you not have to think about it. You don't get to see the real us; you only see who we are on camera. Like Finnick; he's not just some over cocky jock. He's caring, sweet, and gentle. Johanna Mason, she seems heartless, brutal. She just might be one of the funniest people I know. Ceier, she may just be the closest mother figure that I've ever had, from what I can remember. Haymitch, sure he wasn't always there, but he has to be the best father I could've asked for.

And then there's what you don't see. What nobody but Capital officials and President Snow know. What makes being a Victor a living hell. I'll tell you what happened to me, it's so heartbreaking, for me, that my captures didn't even bother to tamper with the memories. I got home, back to Twelve. And all of my friends didn't want to, or weren't allowed to, hang out with me. Weren't allowed to talk to me. I was a killer, a murdering, I was dangerous. So I feel into depression, over the loss of my friends, over having to kill, especially over the loss of Peeta. I figured it was my fault he's dead. So I stopped eating, I figured, Peeta can't eat, so I don't deserve to either. Haymitch would bring me food, I'd throw it away once he left. Eventually that sent me to the hospital. When I got back, I finally started to get better. Then, right before my first mentoring, Snow visited me. He made his proposal plain and simple: I become a Capital whore, or my friends and family die. So I chose option one." I stand up now, preparing to show the scars on myself. "But it was bad, my first night I met the man who had bought me. Enobaria's son; Zapher. He was so nice to me, caring, said he would never do anything to hurt me. He lied. The next night, he raped me. He hurt me, abused me. I turn and lift my shirt up, revealing the long scars across my back. "Those are from headboards, I was slammed into them." I lowered my shirt when I heard some camera men gasp. "So every night after that, I went to Zapher, every night he raped me. He hurt me, it was literally slowly killing me. I tried to hide it, but someone else knew what I was going through."

I look to Finnick, he nods before he speaks. "President Snow used to….sell me too….my body, that is." Finnick begins in a dead tone of voice, the memories, I'm sure, are rushing into his head as well as my own come into mine at his words. "I wasn't the only one, Rachel, as she said before, and some of the others were too. If a victor is considered desirable, the president gives them as a reward or allows people to buy them for an exorbitant amount of money. If you refuse, well, he offers to do the same thing he offered Rachel." Finnick has to take a breath, so I gather my courage and step up for him.

"We were the most popular two." I say in a monotone voice. Finnick nods.

"To make themselves feel better, some people would offer us money, or jewels, but I found a more valuable form of payment."

A memory comes into my head. Finnick and I lying in a bed together, his arms wrapped around my naked body as I rest my head on his chest. "Tell me a secret" he had whispered, so low that I had barely heard him. So I had, I had told him that Haymitch really was the worst cook in the whole world, even though I never told Haymitch that. It had made Finnick laugh.

"Secrets," Finnick says simply, "And this is where you're going to want to stay tuned, especially you Snow. So many were about you, but let's start small." Then Finnick begins to tell stories, reveal hundreds of secrets about gamemakers, Capital officials, peacekeepers. Tales of sex appeals, blackmail, fraud, power plays, greed. All so rich in detail that you can't doubt that they're not real. "And now, on to good old President Snow himself," Finnick says, "Such a young man when he rose to power. Such a clever one to keep it. How, you may ask, did he stay in power so long? Simply with one word: Poison." Finnick tells of Snow's rise to power, then, how Snow's adversaries would suddenly be found dead after a party, or worse, close friends that were too close for comfort. Snow would drink from the glass himself to 'prove' it wasn't poison. But that's why his mouth is always bleeding, and that's why he wears the roses. To cover the stench.

Then Finnick's silent, his tale finished, and Cressida lets us sit in a few moments of silence before going on again.

"Rachel, how is mentoring?"

"Mentoring has to have been harder for me then the actual Games themselves, almost. You get to know these two innocent children, one of whom, for me, was older than yourself. And you train them to be sent to slaughter. Harder for me, because of what I was being put through. Every night a date with Zapher. Every. Single. Night. Some things happened after that, I've been told. But I don't know. Those memories taken from me. After that, there's good nights, untapped, unhampered with. Where Finnick helped me, taught me." I pause, that's personal. _Very personal. _For both of us. I look to Finnick.

"You can tell them if you want." He informs me, so I nod.

"He taught me how to do it so I wouldn't get hurt. He showed me that, if it's real love, then it's not a curse, not some wicked thing. And for us, it was real. Because I loved him and he loved me. He saved my life." I glance at Finnick and his gaze holds mine. He leans in and kisses my cheek quickly and I smile at him.

"What happened when the last tribute was killed?" Cressida questions.

"Not killed, murdered." I correct her. And then I try to remember what had happened, but the wrong memory comes to me. I see Finnick, cheering as the last of the twenty four children is murdered, Finnick, happy that there was no survivor. I feel my eyes glaze over as my breathing becomes fast and shallow. My hands have just started to twitch when Finnick is kneeling in front of me, his hands on my shoulders.

"Not real, it's not real. It's not true either Rach, whatever it is, it's a lie." Finnick whispers to me, his voice barely reaching me. Finnick's hands run down my arms until his hands come to mine, which are clenched into fists, he slowly starts to massage them open before I turn over my hands and intertwine my fingers with his.

"You were happy that no one survived the Seventy Fourth Games, real or not real?" I ask quietly.

"Not real, we all went crazy when that happened, I hated it." He answers without missing a beat. It takes a while until I finally nod, then look off to the side to where Kevser stands besides Haymitch. I get up and walk over to him, picking him up in my arms and holding him close.

"You're a good boy Kevser" I whisper in his ear, he looks up at me and beams. I smile back at him. I walk back over and sit down where I was before, cameras directed at my face and Kevser in my lap. He reaches his hand out towards Finnick, who puts his finger out and Kevser latches onto it, Finnick chuckles. "This is Kevser, my son. He'll be one in a few days. He's really smart, like his father, he can already say full sentences."

"He must be a very strong boy, having been through the second Games with you." Cressida says, a smile on her face as she watches Kevser.

"He is, very strong boy. I'm surprised there was nothing wrong with him, especially after I died, I thought he would've for sure too, but he didn't."

"He is strong" Cressida nods. "How do you know that you died?" she asks further

"Peeta " I say simply. Everyone around me who was whispering quietly immediately stops talking. They stare at me as if I have three heads now. Kevser looks up at me.

"Great man" he gurgles and I smile at him.

"Great man" I agree with my son.

"When I died, I saw Peeta first, just like he had promised me." I say slowly, "After a few minutes, he told me I had to go back. I didn't want to. I wanted to be dead, to just be out of the Games, but of course, that couldn't happen. He promised to watch me though." I smile. Cressida actually has tears in her eyes and she wipes them away.

"That's so sweet." She comments. I nod again.

After a few more moments she goes back and asks me other things about the Games. About the plan to electrocute the sea, in which I honestly say that I had no idea it, would blow up the force field. How could I know anyways? I'm not some genius like Beetee or from District Three.

"Most people don't get it. Just how strong the will to live really is. Sure, you all know the basics. Eat when hungry, drink when thirsty. But that will, that drive to stay alive, for even one more day, for even one more hour, is intensified so much, that if there's a opportunity for you to live longer, you take that opportunity. You meet it head on and you go for it, even if you have no idea if it will work. That's part of the killing too. When you're victor, you lose all regular friends, because now, you're a murderer, you killed little kids. You didn't hesitate to drive a knife through their heart, even if they were only twelve years old. Because you were in overdrive. I figured something out in my first Games. And, I guess this is the definition of a Victor, it's who figures this out first, in my case, I guess it was me." I pause for a second, all eyes locked on me. "A Victor of the Hunger Games is someone who can let go of humanity and then bring it back in, like an on and off switch. If you can make your mind so that you don't think that you're killing kids, so that you don't think of your actions. Then it makes everything so much easier. It's not even hard. A flick of the wrist to throw a knife, or just thrust your arm forwards with a sword in hand, or just release a string, and there, person dead, life taken. No problem. What's hard is bringing back humanity. Because to survive, you need to keep it. If you don't, you go insane and the Capital says that's not good entertainment, that just scares people. And if the people don't like you, then you're dead. Either you die from the elements from no sponsors, or the gamemakers take two seconds and finish you off by sending in something that no person could survive. But there's a loose when you regain humanity. Realization. Your morals. It comes flooding back, and what you just did hits you full force. You took a life. You took away someone's sibling, someone's daughter, someone's son, someone's lover. And you just want to scream! You want to pull your hair out of your head and scream until you can't make another noise. Because now you're the monster, you're the killer. But no, you have to keep it bottled up inside, because it would look like you're going crazy, which isn't very pleasing to the viewers. So that's how you mainly win the Games, you keep your emotions in check. You do that, and then you have about a one in ten chance in winning. But then again, Snow, the Capital, they always make sure one thing is true: that the odds are never in your favor." I'm breathing heavily after my ranting and raving, but it felt good, to get it off my chest, to let the words be heard.

But then Cressida asks the question that I've been dreading. It's a question that makes me stand up with Kevser and hand him to Haymitch. It's a question that makes me ask Haymitch to take Kevser inside and stay with him, because I don't want either one of them hearing it. They can hear it later of television, but not now. Because I'm dead sure that I'll have an attack during the next thirty minutes or however long they want me to talk about it. I'm not even sure, no, I'm even positive about this. I'm positive it's not safe for Finnick to be here. All because of what she asks, and about what I'm going to relive again in my head. Only this time, I'm awake and talking about it. This time, it's not a nightmare. This time, I'm reliving the truth of what happened there.

She asks what happened to me in the Capital.

**YESSSSS I FINALLY FINISHED THIS CHAPTER! OMG I'M SO RELIEVED THAT I DID! Has to be the hardest one I've ever written but I'm really happy with how it came out. And now, I know it's crazy(not really) but I have to do it:**

**Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday Alexander Ludwig. Happy birthday to you!**

**HAPPY 20****TH**** BIRTHDAY XANDER WE LOVE YOU!**

**Ok, got that out of me. Now please, review, I beg of you, Finnick begs of you, and Haymitch begs of you. (Common you can't deny Haymitch anything can you?)Plus this is the longest chapter i've ever done..pretty proud of myself for this :)**

**Mocking Verse**


	13. Chapter 13: Interview part two

**Inspiration attack! Wahoo now I can update finally! Also, this may be my last update for a while, finals are coming up and I need to study for those. So yeah. Please reviews are welcome, I always love them. Oh hey, also, I made a twitter account, like, just for my fanfiction, so y'all should follow me. I'll tweet on when and what story I'm working on and when I'll update and give some sneak peeks and stuff like that. I might make some pictures of arenas and stuff so I'll put them there. I'd love y'all even more, if that's possible. And plus then we can go all fangirl together, so that'd be great :D My twitter name is: MockingVerse. Yeah, creative I know. AND I created a blog, yea running wild. It's **_**http:/**_** insert pen name, all lowercase **_**. blogspot . com/**_** so yea, no spaces, just had to get it so it would let me post it. **

**Disclaimer: Haven't done this in a while, but nothing's changed, I don't own anything, Suzanne Collins does, if I did, my boyfriend would be Josh Hutcherson. **

"What happened to you, in the Capital?" Cressida asks me. I avert my gaze to the ground; I dig my toes into the sand and take deep breaths as I feel venom flowing through my veins, threatening to come to surface.

"They beat me. Every single day. They wanted information, information that I didn't have. But they were convinced that I did. So I would lie so they would stop, but, they would find out about that. Then I would get beat harder. I didn't know it was possible to be in so much pain" I clamp my eyes shut as it comes back. "I was beaten, electrocuted, whipped. With just enough time in between blows for me to think it was over, before it came back all over again. They pour water over you, then electrocute you. Its high voltage, but not high enough to kill my baby. No. They wanted me to keep my baby. Just enough. Just enough for me to think, that had to have killed him." I take a few breaths, open my eyes, and smile. "But it didn't. He made it" I let myself know that. He survived.

"What happened with Finnick?" she asks. I shut my eyes again and take deep breaths, preparing myself. Only that was a big mistake.

I do remember, every little detail. "They set me on a table, and a screen was put in front of me, they'd play a tape, with Finnick in it. Then I'd be injected. It would morph the memories." Memories rush through my head and I grab one and describe it. "It was the night before the first Games. Finnick came in to say bye to me, before I went off. Peeta was there too. Finnick got angry and grabbed Peeta by the neck, choking him, strangling the life outta him" The memory is shiny in my head, but it fills me, and as I describe it, the venom takes over. And I believe the words I say now. "I begged him to stop, but he didn't. He snapped Peeta's neck!" There's rage in my voice now as I open my eyes and glare at Finnick, whose eyes widen as he realizes what's happened. "YOU KILLED PEETA!" I yell infuriated. "And then you beat me! You had said you loved me! But you don't! You killed Peeta! Then you tried to kill me!" I'm screaming now, and in two seconds I'm in front of Finnick, then my hand locks around his throat once again.

The people around us are panicking now, not knowing what to do as Finnick's face turns blue under my grasp. I jump when I feel his hand on my shoulder, it scares me so much that I let go and dart away. "Don't touch me!" I hiss, but he keeps coming closer. One step at a time. But I'm not really seeing him, I'm seeing his killing Peeta. "You killed him. You said you cared. You used me!" I yell, backing away.

"It's not real, I didn't do that!" Finnick gasps out.

"Don't lie!" I scream, he takes two big strides forward, reaches out to touch me. That's when I turn and book it outta there at a hundred. I run away, like I always do. But I have a destination right now; I need to make sure he's safe. I need to find my son. I have to find him.

I run, my feet flying over the ground as sharp rocks dig into my feet. But I barely feel them, I don't notice as my feet start to bleed. I run up to my house in Victors Village. I run up to the door and try to open it. It's locked. I panic.

"Kevser!" I scream as I hurl my body at the door. I throw myself at the door over and over again. Then I punch it, kick it. My knuckles pop once as some of them break. "Kevser!" I cry out hysterically. He's dead, he must be, I let him out of my sight.

Then the door is flung open and Haymitch is there. His eyes widen at the sight of me, but I push past him into the house and look around frantically. I don't see my son. "Kevser!" I yell, my voice echoing throughout the whole building.

"He's in his room sweetheart" I barely hear before I'm sprinting up the stairs, leaving bloody footprints behind me. I go into his room and see him sleeping in his crib. I run over and pick him up in my now bloody and splintered arms. I cry as I hold him close to me, in return, he also starts to cry.

And we cry together. I'm barely aware of my surroundings as the venom slowly starts to abate. I hear footsteps rushing up the stairs and soon Haymitch is there, camera crew behind him. I hold Kevser out to him and he takes him in his arms. I barely hear the word "cut" before I collapse onto the floor and everything goes black.

;;:::;;;

Haymitch's POV (cause he's awesome)

I take my grandkid in my arms, and then watch as his mother collapses onto the ground. Finnick is there in an instant, picking her up into his arms.

"We're done filming" he tells everyone in the room.

"How about when-"

"I said we're done!" Finnick shouts, cutting off the man who was speaking. Everyone shirks back and starts to head out of our house at his commanding tone. Finnick then doesn't say a word as he carries Rachel out towards the bathroom, presumably to wash her up. Leaving me alone with their child. I look down at Kevser, who in turn looks up and flashes me a smile. I grunt back and carry him downstairs, not really knowing what else to do with him. Usually I just put him in for a nap and then I drink, but he already had a nap, so we have to do something else.

Once downstairs I put my grandkid down I sit next to him on the floor. Kevser comes over and climbs into my lap, looking up at me expectantly.

"What do you want?"

The kid doesn't say anything, but grabs my two fingers with his little hands. I switch our hands around so I'm grasping his and give them a squeeze, a smile instantly appears on his face. "Aymitch!" he says happily and I allow a smile to come on my face and nod.

"Yup squirt, that's me." I tease him and poke his stomach, which causes a fit of laughter to come out of him. Laughter, it reminds me briefly of Maysilee. How she laughed when we joked around in the arena, only for a short time, but we had a little fun.

I play with Kevser's hands in mine as I listen to murmured voices upstairs.

;;::;;;

Finnick's POV:

"I'm sorry" she sobs and I wrap my arms around her, rubbing her back with my hands.

"It's not your fault, none of it is" I assure her. She's too tired to argue right now. I pick her up gently into my arms. "Let's get you to bed, you can take a nap before dinner"

"Kevser" she says simply, her voice cracking.

"Haymitch is watching him" she chuckles softly. "I know it's not very reassuring" I grin. I gently put her down in her bed once we are in her bedroom, just on top of the covers. I wipe the tears from the side of her face with my hand and kiss her cheek softly. Then turn to leave, but she grabs my hand.

"Stay?" she asks, I don't say anything, but nod. "Lay down" she whispers, so I do, on the other side of the bed, but she moves so she's closer to me. Without hesitation I wrap my arms around her and bring her into my chest. She doesn't stiffen, and she falls asleep in my arms again. For the first time in over a year.

**Bahhh, I don't really like this chapter, but hey, it's something right? Well, anyways, this story is almost finished. Like. Two more chapters. and an epilogue. Please review**

**Mocking verse**


	14. Chapter 14: Birthday

**So sorry I haven't updated in a while. I have my reasons. One being I had to take care of my brother who got sick with food poisoning. And well, long story short, he got me sick too, apparently he also had a cold. Lucky me. But now I can write while I hack my lungs out. Fun right? Also in other news. Josh Hutcherson is blonde again! Y'all know what that means right? Helloooo Catching Fire filming! **

**Sadly, this is the last chapter of this book, of this story, of this trilogy before the epilogue. I'd like to thank every single person who's reviewed on either of the three. Everyone who's read them, everyone who's stayed with it throughout everything. I really feel like my writing has improved a TON over the course of these and that's all thanks to you guys. I don't think I'll be doing another Finnick story after this, I might, but it's not very likely. After this I'm going to focus mainly on Academy, get that one done before starting another one of my ideas. Academy won't be having a sequel to it. To all of you feel free to PM me anytime you want for anything or just to chat. I won't mind at all. So thanks again for sticking with me throughout all of this. It's been an amazing experience for me. So without further ado here is chapter fifteen. **

Rachel's POV, one month later:

When I open my eyes I see the sunlight streaming down through the open window and into our bedroom. I lay there for a minute, enjoying the feeling of waking up after a sleep with no nightmares. I look at my clock on the nightstand and read the time. 7:45am. I look to the date and a smile spreads across my face. Today is an important day, almost more important than what happened three weeks ago.

Three weeks ago Panem became a free country. Three weeks ago President Snow was killed. Now Paylor is president. It would've been Coin, but she was assassinated at the execution of Snow. No one knows who shot Coin, only I do. Finnick and I had attended the execution along with all of the other victors. What a great thing it was to see Snow get shot in the head and slump down. Dead. Coin was shot the same moment Snow was. And the giddiness that was written all over Soldier Hawthorne's face for about five seconds was all I needed to see to know he shot her. Though no one's complaining. To put it bluntly, Coin was a downright asshole, a bitchy one at that too. But today is just as important to me.

Today, Kevser turns two years old.

I start to sit up and get out of bed when two strong arms pull me back down and pin me against a warm sculpted chest.

"Stay here, five more minutes" Finnick mumbles. He's officially moved in now, and sleeps with me in the same bed every single night for the past month. He keeps away the nightmares, most of them at least. I roll around in his arms and smack him lightly.

"In case you didn't know, it happens to be your son's birthday" Finnick just groans at me. I swear he hasn't grown up at all. Maturity level is like, a twelve, out of a hundred.

"He can wait, I bet he's still-" Finnick is cut of when Kevser comes into the room and climbs on the bed, climbing on top of Finnick and smiling happily.

"Daddy it my birthday!" he squeals, though birthday sounds more like bird day.

"I know it is, give me five minutes" Finnick mumbles again and entombs his face in my hair.

"Happy Birthday Kevser! Could you ask Haymitch to bring up a bucket of cold water for me?" I ask my son, and with that Finnick is wide awake. He shoots up and engulfs Kevser in a hug.

"Happy Birthday!" he tells me and I laugh. Ever since I poured water of Finnick to wake him up, I only need to threaten him with it and he's wide awake.

Five hours later some of the victors are at our house for Kevser's party. Kevser is sitting on the floor being entertained by Skitt. Seeder and Seier are talking on the couch next to a scowling Johanna. Haymitch and Chaff are, true to form, drunk in the kitchen. I'm sitting on the couch next to Quill, who made the trip down here just for the party since I wanted a part of Peeta's life here since he is Kev's namesake. And Finnick left to go get the cake, but that was about two hours ago, so only god knows where he is now. So all in all, it's a great party for a two year old so far.

Quill's telling me about how District Twelve is doing, everyone's starting to rebuild and his father has already planned out the new bakery. That's when there's a loud thud on the front door and then a slam, a dripping wet Finnick walks into the room, cake in hand.

"I got it!" he announces happily. Everyone stops and stares at him, I'm the first to get up and take the cake from him.

"Why are you all wet?" I ask looking him over.

"Oh ugh, well, I went swimming?" he says and it comes out as a question. I just nod slowly.

"Okay then, go change your clothes, you smell too." I tell him, accepting his lie and go into the kitchen.

"Whats that?" Chaff asks, practically slamming his now empty shot glass onto the counter.

"Cake, you know, you are at a birthday party." Chaff and Haymitch laugh.

"We're celebrating sweetheart!" Haymitch says and then finishes off his shot. I groan and go take away the liquor bottle from them, it was almost empty anyways.

"Sure you are Haymitch, sure you are"

"Yup" he says popping the p. I roll my eyes and prepare the cake. Putting in the two candles and then calling everyone to the table. I call everyone in and Kevser plops himself down in the 'big boy chair' and then starts to get impatient while we wait for Finnick.

"DADDY!" He yells for Finnick.

"Hey kid, just start eating it" Johanna says smugly.

"Really!" Kevser says smiling.

"No Kevser!" I stop his little hand from grabbing a chunk right out of the cake. "God Johanna" I glare at her.

"I know, I'm a great influence on the kid" she rolls her eyes at me. "I'm teaching him to be a rebel" she smiles, she won't say it aloud, but I know she adores Kevser.

"Gee thanks" I groan at her then hear the pounding of loud feet running down the stairs.

"I'M COMING!" I hear Finnick yell.

"God how did _he _win a Hunger Games being that loud, he's like a freakin' banshee" Skitt grumbles and we all laugh, I feel Finnick wrap his arms around me from behind.

"What's so funny?" he asks. I look up at him.

"You are" I grin and he quickly kisses me and I smile, he's been doing it more and more often now.

"Now is my birthday boy ready?" Finnick asks and Kevser squeals again.

And seeing my son about to celebrate his second birthday, with my friends here, in a now free country. That's when it finally sinks in, how much of a difference my actions have made. How much things have changed. How this wouldn't have been possible just five years earlier. How all of these people, all born and raised in different Districts are together, celebrating a birthday. How, if I decided tomorrow, that I wanted to go visit District Twelve, I could. How I can say anything about the government, and I won't be punished. How I don't have to worry about my friends starving to death. And how I don't have to worry about twenty four kids being sent off to die for something they didn't do.

The last five years, to put it simply, were really a living hell. But hell has its angels. I had my angels there for me: Haymitch, Finnick, Seeder, Ceier, Chaff. Peeta. And of course, the now light of my life. Kevser. He wouldn't be here. But Peeta, sure, he didn't deserve to die. He was the last person in the universe who deserved to die. But he did, and it broke my heart, shattered my soul. But I'm healing, I may never be fully healed, I know that, I accept that. But anyone who's gone through what I have would never be fully healed.

My name is Rachel Odair. I've survived the Hunger Games, twice. My parents are dead. I don't even remember a thing about them. The Capital took that from me. I'm married to Finnick Odair, kinda. My adopted father is Haymitch Abernathy. I'm friends with all other Victors. I beat the Capital at their own game. What's around me, right here, right now, is my life.

And I wouldn't change it for the world.

**Fin.**

**Well, that's the end. Wow. I'm eating a sugar cube right now, cause of Finnick, saw them in the store and a little voice inside my head 'want a sugar cube?". Yes, I did want one, so I bought some. Anyway, please review. I'm going to write the epilogue now. Please please please review! **

**Mocking Verse**


	15. Epilogue

**Wow, I just uploaded the last chapter and my ipod lit up and I was like YES NEW CHAPTER IN FAVORITE STORY…then I noticed it was for my own story…disappointment. I already read that one. Oh snap. Anyways, enjoy the epilogue! **

*About fifteen years later* Rachel's POV:

I sit on the sand, starring out over as the waves crash onto the shore. I smile and dig my toes into the sand, enjoying the hidden warmth that wraps around my toes. I often go here, when I feel down or lonely. I've come to love the ocean almost as much as Finnick does. We're officially married again now, after Ceier had _insisted _that we have a real wedding a few years back. That was when Kevser was about five.

The colors and sounds remind me of _him_. Peeta Mellark. I still think of him every single day. I think of his promise, I'll see him again. Be with him again. I close my eyes and breathe in the salty air. It's invigorating. With the crashing of the waves my ears pick up another familiar sound. Footsteps. Finnick's footsteps, lightly treading on the sand towards me. I open my eyes and turn my head to look at him.

And there he stands, in all his glory. He smirks at me as he sits cross legged in the sand next to me and lifts me up and puts me in his lap. He still acts like he's seventeen most of the time, not in his mid-thirties. But he's still just as beautiful.

He wraps his strong arms around me and holds me tight to his bare chest. I sigh happily as he kisses my neck. "Hey beautiful" he murmurs.

"Hey Finn" I smile as he resorts to just nuzzling my neck. "Have you seen our son?" I ask him.

"Nope, he takes care of himself." Finnick mumbles again. I pull away from him and point to the rocks that are only a hundred yards away. Kevser and his girlfriend, Lana, are walking on the rocks. They're holding hands as Kevser jumps over a rather large gap between two rocks, Lana follows after him and he catches her in his arms.

Kevser is seventeen now, and has the same killer looks as his father. He doesn't have the same overinflated ego though, which I'm happy about. Though he does get in trouble quite a bit, being Finnick's son and from hanging around Johanna too much. He's a smart boy, though his grades don't really reflect that. He just gets by so he can stay on sports teams. He claims that school won't really help since he's only going to end up working on a fishing boat as his job, which he said knowing what x equals in a fraction problem is not going to help him tie a fishing net together better. Sadly, Finnick, whose maturity level has maybe grown by one, agreed with his son. So I was left alone on the get better grades speech, so we decided he has to get at least B's in all his classes to be able to participate. He gets strait B-'s.

I see Kevser and Lana making their way over to us and then notice a little figure running towards the two.

"You didn't even know where Kai was either did you?" I accuse Finnick of not knowing where our five year old daughter was. Finnick picks me up so I'm facing him, straddling him. He presses his lips to mine, pushing me back onto the sand. When he pulls back he sits up and grins.

"Of course I knew where my little princess was" I know parents aren't supposed to have favorites, but Kai has her dad wrapped around her finger. Finnick does absolutely anything for our little girl. "She was with Haymitch"

"Clearly she's not" I argue, I worry a lot more about our kids than Finnick does, in his mind, if they're at the table in time for dinner, then they're all good.

"Well, then blame your father" He says as he plants another kiss on my lips. I kiss him back before we hear Kai making a disgusted noise, Finnick pulls back to laugh at her. Kai looks up at her brother.

"What are they doing Kev?" she asks. Kevser looks a Lana.

"This" he says simply, then puts he arm around her waist and pulls her close to kiss her. I see Finnick smile at his son, of course he's proud of him. Kai slaps Kevser.

"Stop it!" she complains and the teenagers pull back from each other. Kevser ruffles his sister's blonde hair.

"I want just answering your question Kai" he smirks and Lana scowls at him.

"Don't be mean to your sister" she scolds him.

"You weren't complaining" Finnick says, effectively causing his son's girlfriend to turn a bright shade of red. Kevser groans.

"Dad!"

"Kevser!" Finnick imitates Kevser.

"Dad, your kind of, um, on mom"

Finnick looks down at me, "I know" he grins before kissing me again and I push him off.

"Not here"

"Ugh okay, we're leaving, common Kai, let's go wake up Grandpa!" Kevser tells his sister happily. It's they're favorite game. 'Wake up Grandpa because he's always passed out drunk' Lana enjoys watching it too. Kai nods happily and the three take off running towards the house.

"Remember his knife!" I yell after them.

"Okay!" I hear Kevser yell back. I sigh as I watch them go.

"I love them" I say softly. I feel Finnick's arm go around my shoulders and he squeezes lightly.

"I love you" He tells me. I turn and look into his eyes.

"I love you too"

**Well, we're officially finished with this story. Thanks to all **

**Mocking Verse**


End file.
